The Art Of Making Potions
by xXDesertRoseXx
Summary: What if Severus had survived the events of the final battle? What if he had returned to Hogwarts as the Potions Master once more? Ever wondered what deference a single girl could make? And what about Draco Malfoy? Severus/OC/Draco. M for lemons...
1. The Art Of Making Potions

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Harry Potter. Honestly, did you think I did? I do (in a sense since she is credited to a fellow conspirator) own Serenity Morrigan.

**AN; **So, this story... Yeah... It's really not my fault. And for once, it wasn't the bunnies that made me do it. It was Irene90 that got me into it and now look what happened. Long story short, I got addicted to the plot she inspired and the oneshot became a two-shot and then a whole story... Anyways, it WAS my fault that a familiar blond got added into the mix, especially since there wasn't even a mix before that adition. And just to clear this out, Severus is indeed alive and kicking in this story. And this is an M rated story for a reason people!

**THE ART OF MAKING POTIONS; **A chapter dedicated to the most devoted fan of the one and only Hogwarts' potions master… because you know you are!

She took another turn through the school corridors; she was walking as fast as possible. It was the end of the first day of term and she could see the sun setting as she moved from Hogwarts' Great Hall to the staircase that leads to the dungeons. The grand clock of the school signaled it was already eight. She groaned as she realized she was running late. She went on a straight sprint, practically leaping over the last five stairs, trying to make up for the lost time.

She was only five minutes late, but as a true Ravenclaw, the seventh year student of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry preferred to be accurate when it came to meeting with one of the school's teachers. If she wanted to be true to herself however she always strived to be accurate when it came to the specific professor.

Serenity reached the potions' lab closed door and took a moment to catch her breath. She straightened her dark brown hair that had got tousled from her run and breathed slowly in and out making sure she wasn't going to sound out of breath; it was enough she had to remember herself humans needed trivial things such as oxygen to survive when Professor Severus Snape looked straight into her eyes. Damn those burning pools of black for all the funny things they did to her heartbeat!

Once she made certain she could almost control her sure-to-appear blush, she knocked lightly on the door;

"Come in." Spoke a husky voice from inside the room. She took in another deep breath and opened the door with a smile. She took in the form of the working professor; he was wearing black as usual and he had his back turned on her as he stirred a cauldron with a fluorescent potion she instantly identified as a halfway brewed truth serum. It was exactly her skill with potions that had enabled her to take the place of potions' professor assistant in her seventh year in Hogwarts. The said potions master chose this time to turn around and face her.

"Good evening professor Snape."

"I've been waiting for you miss Morrigan." He said with a slight smirk. "You could start with separating the mandrake leaves professor Sprout send me; the purple ones must be separated from the green ones if we don't one anyone to blow up the lab. Irene nodded affirmative after putting on a pair of protective gloves.

"After that you will have to catalogue the remaining potions in the cabinets; after that blasted fight last year most of my stock has gone astray; I'll have to brew almost all my potions from the beginning." Serenity thought back to her sixth year at Hogwarts; it had been a living hell. Not only because of the Deatheaters that roamed the school, but because even though professor Snape had taken the place of Albus Dumbledore as Headmaster of Hogwarts, everyone thought him to be a Deatheater too.

Of course she hadn't; not for a fracture of a second. She simply couldn't believe that he could have done such a thing, not without having a greater reason behind it. She had thought that, maybe, if he was younger he could have joined the dark forces, but Serenity could simply not envision him follow that path in the long run.

And later on her suspicions were affirmed as she'd been told that he used to be a Deatheater when he was in his late teens; still she firmly believed it was a mistake he made leaded by teenage hormones and rage. She was sure that killing professor Dumbledore was part of some greater plan and she had fought for those beliefs and not just verbally, mind you. She smiled slightly as she recalled slapping that foolish Gryffindor, Lavender Brown, when she had called professor Snape a traitor and a murderer that was worth of the dementors' kiss.

Of course in the end she was justified; it had almost taken Severus' death to prove her right, but it turned out her beliefs were accurate. Professor Snape had to stay at St. Mango's hospital for two months, but his name was cleared -surprisingly by Harry Potter- and it was announced he would return as a potions master in Hogwarts for this year. He had also been awarded the honorary cross of the order of Merlin first class, for his heroics and for a reason she couldn't comprehend she herself seemed to feel prouder than he was for that fact.

The moment she found out he would be teaching again -he had passed the offer to remain a Headmaster in favor of professor McGonagall- she had applied for his assistant and she had taken the place fair and square. Her thoughts were disturbed by Severus' deep voice;

"Miss Morrigan?" Serenity turned to meet his stare; his eyes were almost shimmering and she couldn't help gulping.

"Yes, professor Snape?" She offered politely. He smirked and he knees went week. 'Please don't let me faint!' she wished with all her racing heart's strength making sure her occlumensy walls were up; last thing she needed was for Severus to see what was in her mind right now.

"I just realized I never got around thanking you for last year." Her eyes widened.

"Thank _me_ sir? Shouldn't I, shouldn't everybody for that fact, thank you?" She asked not daring to believe her ears. His smirk widened as he shook his head. Her legs almost gave up on her.

"Let me narrate something very odd that I stumbled across last year while I was patrolling the second floor." He suggested with his deep voice taking a step towards her, his eyes deeper than usual and -could it be?- with a glimpse of mischief in them. "As I was making my rounds, I came across two girls arguing in the middle of the hallway; the first one was Miss Brown from Gryffindor. Can you guess who the second girl was?" Serenity closed her eyes and whispered;

"Me?" When she opened her eyes Severus was yet closer. The blush she was fighting off all this time came forth at last.

"Exactly, _you_. Now imagine my surprise when I heard you screaming of my innocence at the top of your lungs and my complete bewilderment when you slapped Miss Brown after her insulting words." He took another step closer. "Now Serenity that was something I didn't expect." Had he just called her Serenity?

'Oh, I get it!' she thought. 'It's that stupid dream again. Come on girl wake up… But do I even _want_ to wake up?' She thought to herself.

"It was nothing really…" She muttered as he moved closer. She took a step back.

"Nothing?" He asked. "I would say it meant something more than that. Let me tell you something else then; last year I was almost killed, but I guess you know that already." She nodded 'yes' feeling dizzy from the slight movement of her head. He continued. "What you probably don't know is that as I was bleeding to death, I thought back my whole life and what had brought me to this place. You see most of my life I spent mourning over something I lost; I expected to think about that a lot in my final moments, but surprisingly what stuck with me was a feisty girl slapping one of her classmates in the middle of an empty hallway. That surprised me too; and I don't like to be surprised."

She couldn't believe her ears once again. Why wasn't she waking up? _Why wasn__'__t she?_ And why did he have to get so close? How was she supposed to think straight when he looked at her like that?

"Professor Snape I…" She began only to be interrupted. He was close, too close now; she could feel his breath on her lips as he spoke.

"Serenity one last thing; I believe you should call me Severus." That was too much for her. Despite her logic and her better judgment she covered those final inches between them and kissed him straight on the lips. 'Merlin, what did I do?' she thought and tried to pull back only to realize he wasn't going to let her. Instead she could feel his hands wrapping around waist tightly as he deepened their kiss. Her eyes that she had closed moments before, jolted open as they both took several steps backwards, never breaking their kiss.

Her legs hit on something hard and she used her hands to find out what it was. It turned out to be Severus' desk. He pulled out his wand and surprised her once again -he seemed to do just that ever since he started speaking- as he used it to throw everything that was on his desk to the floor. With one more smirk he hid his wand and kissed her again. This time she didn't try to move away. It was frustrating; she couldn't believe what was happening all around her. She knew some cauldrons fell with a loud clank on the floor, yet in her ears it sounded more like a distant echo and her breath started coming out more and more ragged.

Then Severus whispered her name.

"Serenity…" And her world fell apart.

She kissed him back fervently all of her worries about if what she was doing was right, long forgotten. She reached for the trim of his black shirt and started unbuttoning as fast as she could. 'Stupid buttons! Unbutton now!'

But it was no use; her hands were shaking too much to do anything else but caress his face, touch his lips and pull him closer, all other functions disabled. In a flash of sanity between all that heated craziness she took a step back, breaking their kiss for the first time. Severus looked at her confused, his eyes like burning coal. She just smiled at him slyly and took out her wand; if the buttons -or her fingers- wouldn't cooperate, she would simply have to find an alternate way.

She whispered a cutting hex and all the buttons fell of his shirt immediately. She smirked, a perfect imitation of Severus's trade smirk, and moved back to him.

"And you're not in Slytherin because?" He asked huskily as Serenity tore the shirt from his upper body. She took a look at his torso and let out an audible gasp, making Severus smirk even harder; his chest was pale, just as his face. She expected that; she was actually fond of his skin color.

What she didn't expect was the shape of his upper body. She knew he was slim alright, but toned? Still, the muscles were there alright.

'A strong chest, bulking forearms and -great Merlin!- perfectly shaped abs… When did he get a body like that?' She took another appreciative look at this newfound -and very guilty- new pleasure of hers. She gently touched his waist and moved upwards tracing his lean but strong muscles all the way to his chest.

Once her hands reached his collarbone, Severus let out a groan signaling exploration time was over. He grabbed her waist and pulled her back to him as she started to get rid of her outfit for her.

"Two can play this game you know…" He whispered again, making her breath catch up in the back of her throat. She marveled as his hands expertly undid her shirt and gasped for air when he touched the skin of her bare waist for the first time.

His hands seemed to be everywhere as he laid her back on his desk, his lips slowly left hers and she tried to complain. But her complain turned to a moan as his lips skillfully moved down her chin to her collarbone. She entangled her fingers in his hair as he moved lower and lower.

Then Severus whispered her name again;

She didn't know if she was going to regret it the next morning or if he was going to. All that mattered was that moment in time and that place; she was going to carve it to her memory and never let it go.

Hours later, she moved away from his embrace and got dressed as she observed his sleeping form. She knew she had to return to her dormitory before someone started looking for her. They would have to speak about what had happened of course, but in a fleeting moment of clarity -or in a moment when her seer origins kicked in- she had a feeling everything was going to turn out all right; and she had learned to trust her feelings. It sure hadn't failed her.

She opened her door and moved back the way she came, thinking about the events of the last three hours and about how was she possibly going to break the news to her boyfriend; sure enough Draco Malfoy hadn't killed anyone during the war, but he too had his limits.


	2. Midnight Ponderings Vol1

**A.N.;** Firstly, let me thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter. In this chapter we will see Draco's perspective in his relationship with Serenity and have the first hints of angst, since I decided to add such an element to this story. I hope you enjoy reading and don't forget to review!

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Harry Potter. As many times as I keep wishing I did that's not going to change. It just gonna hurt my feelings.

**MIDNIGHT PONDERINGS vol.1. **

Northern Scotland; Malfoy mansion; midnight.

Draco Malfoy was currently lying on his bed, trying to find a way to go back to sleep after his nightmare. He was having those nightmares during the past two years constantly ever since he had received the Dark Mark and became a deatheater. In most of them he had to watch his parents die over and over, or see the Dark Lord regenerated and back to kill him. And in some nightmares -the worst of them- he had to watch a girl with dark long hair and penetrating eyes being tortured and die in the hands of Lord Voldemort.

That was the nightmare that woken him this time. He closed his eyes and combed his silvery blond hair with his fingers, letting out a sigh that oddly resembled a name; _Serenity_. He hadn't seen her for just five days, but it already seemed like an eternity. Serenity Morigan; the only person that didn't treat him like mud during the past year. The one person who was there for him. The one person who cared. The sole reason for his existence. His one and only. His girlfriend and so much more.

He allowed a small smile to make its appearance on his handsome face, remembering the time he first talked to her. He had seen and heard about her in the past of course, her being one of the top students in the school, but he hadn't talked to her until last October.

_He was in the mourning Myrtle__'__s bathroom once more, wanting desperately to talk to someone about what was happening to him; it had seemed even Crabbe and Goile had distanced themselves from him, treating like he had, correction, like he __**was**__ the plague. He was waiting for Myrtle to appear when a very much pissed off and very much sexy, as that little voice in his head was kind enough to point out, Ravenclaw girl entered the bathroom._

_Without noticing him, she went for a sink at the other side of the room and splashed some water on her slightly flushed face, massaging her temples and rushing her slender fingers through her long hair. She had her back turned to him, but he could see her eyes were closed simply by looking in the mirror she was facing. Something stirred inside him as he took her appearance in; she was shorter than him, but tall none the less, with long slim legs and waist, the school uniform -oh she __**must**__ have had grown up since she had bought it- doing nothing than underlying her body._

_He loosened his tie and undid the top button of his shirt that had suddenly become too tight. He gulped loudly. That caught her attention as she turned around on her heels to see where the noise had come from. She looked straight at his gray eyes and he saw confusion in those dark brown pools of hers. For a moment he was afraid she was going to see disgust, or worse fear, on that beautiful face. He had taken the hostility of his classmates stoically during the past month, convincing himself he had to do what he was doing to keep his parents alive, but for a reason he couldn__'__t explain he felt her disgust would break him to pieces, rendering him unable to be put together again._

_Her confusion however remained just that; confusion. He was surprised to see her walking towards him without any fear as she stopped a few inches from his spot. She looked at him questioningly and simply said;_

"_You do know you__'__re in the girls__'__ bathroom, right?" His eyes widened and all he could utter was a weak;_

"_Yeah, I was trying to be left alone." She looked at him with a soft smile that instantly sent him to his personal heaven. She was polite to him?_

"_Then forgive me for interrupting. I just wanted to be alone too." And with that she turned to leave. Draco panicked;_

"_No, don__'__t leave!__" He almost screamed and she turne__d to look at him confused again; how could he blame her for her confusion when he was bewildered with his actions himself? "I mean," he tried to explain, the faint scent of roses that seemed to emanate from her body dizzying him " there are very few places in this school to be alone at and this is one of the less crowded right now, trust me." She raised one perfectly arched eyebrow and smiled again._

"_Okay then. I__'__m Serenity by the way; Serenity Morigan." She had actually introduced herself to him; he couldn__'__t believe the heavens had decided to smile at him for once._

"_And I__'__m Draco Malfoy." He almost whispered at her. She smiled again._

"_Yeah, I know." She stated shrugging. __'__She knows and yet she willingly stays in the same room with me?__'_

"_And, if you don__'__t mind me asking, why did you want to be alone?" Her smile turned into a smirk._

"_Nothing important. I just slapped a bitch that spoke without knowing what she was saying and wanted to stay away from people until I cooled down. What about you?" Draco__'__s eyes widened once again. __'__Great Merlin, she wants to talk with me!__'_

"_Well I just wanted to get away from all those jerks who think the Dark Mark is contagious." He said before thinking, taken aback by her interest. He quickly brought his hand on his mouth, his face turning from pale to ashen. __'__Why did I have to open my big mouth?__'__ he thought scared. His fear turned into amazement as she laughed softly._

"_Don__'__t worry __**I**__ don__'__t think so." She stated as his amazement grew. Then she added seriously, more to herself than anything else; "One simple, stupid mark doesn__'__t determine who you are. No, I refuse to believe that." _

Draco could have kissed right there and then. 'Not that I didn't kiss her in the end.' he thought smiling to himself. It had taken them two months of meeting in that same bathroom for him to ask her if she wanted to be his girlfriend. She had made him the happiest guy on earth when she had graced him with that glorious smile of hers and took him into her life.

Since then, their relationship had gone from something simple to something deeper and more serious. He knew by now that he was inevitably and irrevocably in love with her. His face took an expression of complete bliss as his treacherous mind lead him to one of their dates in the room of requirement on a cold Sunday last December.

He had asked her to come to the seventh floor, wanting to saw her that most amazing room. In the depths of his heart he hoped that she would help him get over the bad memories that came with it. And Merlin did she help;

"_So, this room can change to everything you want according to your whishes?" She asked him curiously. _

"_Well, yes. That__'__s why it__'__s called the room of requirement. Right now I__'__ve asked the room to change into a sanctuary; a place where we can not be disturbed by anyone and anything. So, what do you think?" She smiled again and he felt his stomach fill with butterflies._

"_I think it__'__s amazing, that__'__s what I think!" She seemed to be excited and Draco pulled her in for a kiss. He couldn__'__t believe she was actually his; he had even turned possessive of her during their time together; she didn__'__t seem to mind. He looked at her with a smirk and she soon copied his expression._

"_And what goes on, in that beautiful mind of yours?" He asked playfully as he placed kisses down her neck._

"_Nothing in particular, just that I__'__m in a room were no one can enter with my most amazing boyfriend. What more can a girl ask?" He laughed huskily as he lifted her to his embrace, bridal style. She yelped in surprise, causing him to laugh; she was actually his one and only source of laughter in that period of time. He placed her gently on a comfortable couch he had asked the room to conjure and she smiled cheekily. _

"_What passed through your mind now?" He asked again between kisses._

"_I__'__m just thinking; I like this room." He moaned loudly and brought his lips back at hers, urging her to deepen their kiss. He moaned again in her mouth as she complied. She giggled playfully, untying his tie and throwing it somewhere in the room. He responded by pulling of her jacket, although he had to admit the room was rather cold. The moment he made that thought however, a huge stone fireplace with a blazing fire made its appearance on the wall right across the couch. __"Neat." She stated as she looked at the fire. "And most charming. Nice thinking." He kissed her again laughing._

"_It__'__s your fault you know; you__'__re making a romantic out of me." He admitted making her laugh once again._

"_Good for me then." She said seriously as she reached for his shirt__'__s collar to bring his face closer, the heat from the fireplace warming her in more ways than one. He kissed her again and again, more passionately every time, slowly moving his hands up and down her body, leaving them rest on her hips. She responded by arching her body closer to him, making him groan. She looked inside his light eyes and was surprised to find them looking at her intensely, closer to blue than gray this time with an emotion that she couldn__'__t yet identify._

"_Do you even know what you__'__re doing to me?" He asked in a deep voice. It was her turn to moan as he slowly brought his hands back to her upper body reverently, almost as he was afraid she was going to break or disappear if he let her go. He started undoing her shirt and she couldn__'__t find it in her to complain. His hands moved steadily as he kissed lower and lower with each button that came undone. Serenity could feel her skin getting sensitive under his lips and fingers as he caressed every inch of skin he uncovered. _

"_And what about what __**you**__ are doing to __**me**__?" She whispered in his ear as he brought his lips to her face once again. Once he unbuttoned her whole shirt he lifted his body so he could get a better look at her. He gasped loudly making her turn a little red. She had a very revealing -yet not revealing enough- ivory lace bra, which looked a little like a short corset, that hugged her breasts firmly, making it hard for him to breathe._

"_Are you trying to kill me?" he asked as he took her shirt off completely throwing it on the floor. Something in his eyes made her more daring than she normally was. So, she took initiative and brought her hands to his shirt._

"_You__'__re terribly overdressed for the occasion Draco." She explained and she slowly undid his shirt. He couldn__'__t take it any longer; he simply had to feel her soft hands on his chest immediately._

"_Just rip the damn thing apart; I__'__ll fix it later." He half groaned. To his surprise, she followed his advice and did exactly as he had suggested, her hands tearing his shirt. She kissed him passionately, throwing his torn shirt next to hers as he brought them on a standing position with her on his lap. He could feel her smiling through their kiss which brought him closer to the edge._

"_I hope you meant it." She whispered seductively, her voice falling an octave lower than usual as she was now acting more on instinct than anything else, never before having pushed their relationship, or any past relationship, to that limit. He actually growled; a deep feral growl coming from the back of his throat, as he grabbed her hips pulling her closer, allowing her to feel exactly how much he meant it._

"_Damn it woman!" He groaned as she started massaging his strong back as if she was trying to memorize each and every muscle he had._

"_Playing Quidditch does pay off, doesn__'__t it?" She asked as her hands moved to his strongly built chest and his defined abs. _

"_It does?" Draco murmured seductively looking at her blushing cheeks. "I love the way you blush by the way, did you know that?" Serenity groaned and pushed him back on the couch, with her on top this time. As their bodies moved closer to each other she was brought to a sudden realization that made her feel half embarrassed and half, oddly, victorious._

"_Draco, can I ask you something?" She said smirking, looking at his darkened eyes. She now could identify the feeling inside them only because she felt it too; lust._

"_Anything love." He offered as he held her waist._

"_Is that your wand I feel, or are you just happy to see me?" She purred softly, wondering where that seductive part of her was hiding all these years. He blushed a little with embarrassment but quickly shrugged it off as he looked into her eyes, only to find them mirroring his emotions. He smirked and brought his hands buck to her hips as he stated;_

"_I should have you know that my wand is currently in my jacket__'__s pocket, my jacket being on the floor." His smirk grew as she blushed harder. "Did that cover your question?" he asked and she answered by kissing him again. He took a moment to simply marvel at the way her long, silky hair cascaded down her back and to the left side of her body as she brought her face closer. Unfortunately -or fortunately, he found it difficult to decide- that simple movement of hers caused her lower body to grind in the funniest little way against a specific part of his anatomy, making it even, well, harder for him to think clearly._

_Without realizing how it happened he found his hands on her skirt__'__s zipper. He froze momentarily, afraid he had gone one step too far. Serenity seemed to consider the situation for a second and then smiled down at him, unzipping her skirt by herself. Draco smirked and helped her to get rid of her skirt as quickly as possible. Once it followed the rest of their clothing to the floor he turned his eyes back on her and gasped again; __'__Of course she had to have matching underwear on!__'__ he thought but out loud said;_

"_Yeah, I__'__m sure now…" She looked at him confused._

"_About what?"_

"_You really are trying to kill me. And by the looks of it you will soon succeed." She laughed again and he took that moment to admire her features. He took a deep breath and come to a decision as she sobered up. He looked at her eyes again to find her looking back. "I love you." He voiced for the first time, fully aware it was the truth; he watched her face go form joyful, to shocked and from shocked to resolute as she seemed to come to a decision. And as she did, her eyes shone brighter than ever and she seemed to glow as she smiled peacefully; she had never looked more beautiful, Draco thought with a start as his heart swelled and thundered in his chest._

"_And I love you." She whispered. It was his time to be shocked; sure he meant every word he said, but he didn__'__t expect her to return his feelings so soon._

"_You do?" He asked confused, afraid he was about to wake up in any moment._

"_Yes, you silly man. Of course I love you! What would I be doing here if I didn__'__t?" She responded solemnly. He kissed her again everywhere hr could reach and held her tight never wanting to let go as she laughed joyfully at his antics. She looked at him seriously once again. "Draco?" she asked. He looked at her expectantly._

"_Yes love?" He asked back making her smile again. Suddenly the couch they were on turned into a king size, four poster bed, making him gasp in surprise and her blush deeper._

"_You are still way overdressed for the occasion." She said softly, caressing his cheek. He locked eyes with her removing some of her hair that was covering a portion of her face, wanting to have a full view as he asked;_

"_Are you sure?" She nodded positively and he wrapped his arms around her almost protectively, as he rolled her over bringing himself on top. Soon the rest of their clothes were thrown on the floor as they found themselves occupied for the rest of the evening._

Draco sighed as he brought himself back to reality, cursing the state his lamentations had brought him into. Now he was never going back to sleep. 'Serenity… my Serenity.' He thought possessively as he rose from his bed and headed towards the bathroom, suddenly feeling the need for a cold shower.

A couple of seconds later, he returned to his bed wearing just a pair of black pants with his hair still dripping from the shower. He fell on his bed, his last thoughts before sleep claimed him being a pair of dark brown eyes and soft pale skin.

'Serenity, whatever you do, please remember that I will always love you.' He closed his eyes and drifted to a peaceful slumber, while unknown to him a girl with dark hair was tossing and turning in her bed trying to figure her way out from the mess that had been created, one she wholeheartedly blamed herself for.


	3. Midnight Ponderings Vol2

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Harry Potter. Really, I don't.

So, this is Serenity's point of view to the whole affair. I hope you'll like the chapter and get to know her character better. I hope I have avoided turning her into a Mary-Sue, but anyways, do let me know what you think!

**MIDNIGHT PONDERINGS vol.2**

Hogwarts; Head Girl Dormitories; Midnight;

As much as she tried, Serenity hadn't yet managed to find any solution for her problem. She had been lying on the four poster of her room for an hour now and she had finally decided the answers she was searching for wouldn't just spell themselves on the sealing she was aimlessly staring at.

She couldn't help it though; her mind seemed to have been brought into a complete standstill and her body, that was so damn active only an hour ago, felt numb and deprived of all strength.

She could still remember Severus hands all over her, the way he kissed her, his breath coming in sharp gasps as they fell from his desk to the floor of the potions' lab four short hours ago. But once she reached her room and her mind started working once more, tears had started roaming down her face as a wave of guilt grasped her. She couldn't stop blaming herself for what had happened as all her thoughts orbited around one question and one alone;

'_What have I done?__'_

Unable to think what her next step was going to be, she strived to search for answers in the past. She closed her eyes and looked back six years ago; she saw an eleven year old girl, who had just been sorted to Ravenclaw. She remembered her happiness, when the shorting hat told her that she possessed on of the strongest minds it had ever seen and placed her to the same house as her mother. She remembered the commotion Harry Potter and his friend Ron Weasley had caused when they arrived at school on a flying car of all things. She remembered her fear that something would go terribly wrong in one of her lessons and she would be expelled or even injured.

And she remembered the first lesson of her first year; potions. She had reached the dungeons as a scared first year who had heard the rumors about the potions' master from the older students. She was certain she would soon face a monster and then professor Snape, _Severus_, had entered the room; he was clad in black, as usual, giving her the impression that he was grieving. He faced the classroom and in a strong voice started giving them the basics about potions.

Serenity had looked around the room and, much to her surprise, she noticed that all her classmates -Ravenclaws and Hufflepufs alike- were staring at Severus with fear. She simply couldn't get it. Hadn't anyone else read the textbooks they were given? Potion ingredients were unstable and dangerous if mixed wrongly. So, it was natural that the teaching professor _had_ to be strict.

As she came to realize that, a feeling of security and calmness washed over her; she now knew that nothing wrong was going to happen to her, not as long as she was in that classroom. And that fact had boosted her confidence enough for her to make a perfect sleeping drought potion, which earned her an appreciative glance and five points to Ravenclaw.

Her appreciation for her professor only kept rising over the years, as he observed the way he carried himself around the school and how he always stood alone, seemingly ignoring the rest of the world. But if someone looked closer, as she did, they would notice that Severus kept an eye on everything and everyone in school, almost as much as the headmaster himself.

When she was at her second year during June, just after the end of the exams and two days after she had turned thirteen, the word spread out that the at that time convict called Serius Black had escaped. But what had terrified her most was the rest of the rumors. Those that said that professor Snape had gone to face the Dementors at the lake by him self and that he might have come across professor Lupin in his werewolf form.

Serenity had never been more scared in her life. For a reason she couldn't yet understand, she was sure he had died and that she was never going to see him again. Now of course she knew she had reacted foolishly, but back then she had cried the whole night over him.

But the turning point came when she was in her fifth year, the year that professor Dumbledore died, presumably murdered by Severus. She was invited in the Christmas party professor Slughorn threw. The man had almost destroyed potions for her, but the DADA lessons had at least taken a turn for the better. She had put on a dark red dress robe that had drawn the attention of many boys in the room, but she couldn't care less.

Her eyes were stuck on the newly appointed defense professor; he was dressed in black once again but he had seemingly taken more care about what he had put on; his black shirt fit him smugly, bringing out what she could now identify as a muscular chest. He had an I-don't-care-about-what-you-say look on his face as he conversed with the other guests and once he turned his eyes away from them, he had caught her staring.

Serenity had blushed and thanked the dim lit room that partially hid her face from his eyes. She had been at a loss of words when he had rolled his eyes at her pointing to the people he was talking to in order to saw her his agitation. He had even granted her a small smile -not a grin- and then went back to answering a question professor Slughorn had addressed to him.

The rest of the night passed like a blare. Without knowing why, she was on cloud nine and her heart was beating frantically, while the redness never left her cheeks. A friend of her mentioned she was shining but Serenity felt like she was burning from the inside out.

She had tossed and turned in her bed that whole night before she admitted to herself she was attracted by the mystery that was Severus and by his softer side that he had so simply uncovered for her. Time flew and before she found the nerve to act on her recently discovered feelings, the death of professor Dumbledore shook the school.

She heard the rumors along with the rest of the students, but unlike them all, she couldn't bring herself to believe it. She had spent the whole summer defending Severus to everyone she knew and in her sixth year she had even slapped that bubblehead Lavender Brown for badmouthing him.

'And it all lead me here' She thought as she allowed herself to relieve the hours she spent in the dungeons that evening. She shuddered as she thought of how cold the room felt when she had stepped in and how she couldn't feel anything else than heat as Severus touched and kissed her in ways that still made her tremble inside.

'I actually ripped his shirt off with my wand!' She scolded herself. 'Why do I always end up doing that?' Her train of thoughts of course led her to another flood of tears and guilt. Her mind wandered back to Slughorn's party, but to a different part of that memory; a part that included a boy with ash blond hair that was led out of the party by Severus himself.

Draco. _Her Draco_. The more she thought about it the more she couldn't understand how she had done such a thing to him. Since the first time they had spoke to each other in moaning Myrtle's bathroom, she had kept meeting him there for two months before he had asked and she had agreed to become his girlfriend.

In the beginning she had just wanted someone to talk to; someone who wasn't prejudiced against Severus and Draco was the ideal candidate with being an outcast himself. But steadily as she had come to know him more and more intimately and they had stuck together almost fitting like two pieces of a puzzle.

They had spoke about almost everything; from little things such as the fact that they both liked potions, their favorite Quidditch team -they both liked the Tornadoes even before they won the cup- their favorite chocolate flavor -caramel filled milk chocolate- to bigger things, such as what were their worst fears and how they fared during the war.

Draco had surprised Serenity when he opened his heart to her, telling her what he had been forced to do by Voldemort so that he could keep his parents alive. She knew that he was afraid she would bolt once he told her, but she could only bring herself to respect him as he ascended in frond of her eyes from a friend she could hang out with to a boy, no _a man_, who risked his life to allow her entrance in his world. Because she knew that if Voldemort found out he had talked, Draco was going to be killed. And as she learned more about him, he started visiting her not only in the bathroom, but in her dreams too.

And what dreams those were; Serenity never had a serious relationship before him, but not because she had had no offers. She just had put a man as a standard and she hadn't found anyone to measure up yet to keep her interested for long. As a result, she had never really felt the need to be intimate with one of her male classmates. But those dreams…

They varied from them just kissing innocently out in the Hogwarts grounds, to more intense dreams that included him being half or completely naked and calling her name. Those dreams of course only succeeded in leaving her hot and bothered. And they were nothing compared to the real thing.

Her treacherous mind led her back to the day Draco had asked her to be his girlfriend. She sighed at the memory as soft nostalgia and a pulling yearning invaded her -up to that moment- numb body;

_She was standing across Draco in the bathroom__'__s floor, legs crossed as he told her about his day._

"…_and then he started running away, screaming I was going to kill him. I swear I had only reached for my wand to light the passageway, since Peeves was __'__kind__'__ enough to extinguish all the torches." Serenity started laughing holding her sides as he looked amused._

"_Well, no one claimed Justin Filch-Flechly was one of the smart ones! Did he really start running and screaming?" She asked between giggles. Draco smiled and nodded affirmative, sending Serenity into another round of laughter. Draco was watching her the whole time and if she wasn__'__t too occupied laughing she would have noticed his face turning from joyful to thoughtful and from thoughtful to determined. He waited patiently for her to sober up and once she did, he looked straight in her eyes._

"_I really like the sound of your laughter." Serenity was caught in surprise._

"_You do? Well… thank you, I guess." She looked at him thoughtfully as he composed himself. "Draco is there something you wish to tell me?"_

"_Actually there is." He admitted. "A year and a half ago, my life took a turn for the worse when my father enlisted me to the dark Lord__'__s help list. I don__'__t believe he imagined things would turn that way, but I ended up taking his place as a Deatheater. I never meant for it to happen and it just turned my life upside down and into a living hell. I had started losing all hope and then you came into my life. More like stormed in actually, but you get the point." He said smiling dreamingly, remembering the way they had met. "And with you came a light in my life. I never thought I could be happy again, or that I would ever be treated like a human being instead of a cold hearted monster. And I never even dreamed that I would make anyone feel happiness and not fear, that I could make someone laugh." Serenity__'__s eyes were humid as he kept going with a soft but deep voice. "And yet here you are, like you stepped right out from my dreams laughing and talking to me, giving me more than I truly deserve. And what__'__s more, here I am, ready to selfishly ask you for something more…" Serenity__'__s mouth was dry and all she managed to whisper was his name;_

"_Draco…" He smiled softly at her as he continued;_

"_I really like the way you laugh, you see. And I want to be the one who keeps making you laugh. And I want to be the one who is there when you need help, the one who will stand by you when you want a friend, the one who will be there to catch you if you fall. And though I know I don__'__t deserve you and I don__'__t want to lose your friendship, I can__'__t stop myself from asking; Serenity, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?__"_

_Serenity was at loss. She couldn__'__t believe the words that he had spoken; she actually liked her the way she liked him? More than a friend and more than a shoulder to cry on? He wanted to be all those things he said, just for her? She just stared at him for a minute, unable to speak, barely breathing. Suddenly it occurred to her that he was expecting an answer. Her voice was still not cooperating with her so she did what came surprisingly natural; she leaned in and kissed him._

_Draco stood frozen for a few seconds, as if he couldn__'__t comprehend what was happening. Then he reached for her and cupped her face with his hands, kissing back with a passion that not even he knew he could master._

"_Was that a yes?" he asked in a husky voice once they broke the kiss desperate for air._

"_I believe it was." She answered smiling softly at him, entangling her fingers in his silky hair as she had dreamt during all those weeks. His response surprised her, as he moved closer and wrapped his arms around her kissing her like his life depended on it. She kissed him back, her own lips moving in a feverish way on his. He bit her lower lip ever so lightly asking her, almost begging her, to deepen the kiss. Serenity complied as he moaned while she started tracing his chest with her arms._

_He mirrored her movements slowly massaging her back, playing with the stray locks of her cascading hair he found there. It was her turn to moan as he took his lips from hers, only to start moving lower to her jaw and from there to her collarbone, somehow managing to undo her shirt__'__s top button with his mouth._

_Her hands moved in his lower body, starting from his hips and moving forward, only to rest on the buckle of his belt. She pulled him towards her and they both ended up falling backwards to the floor, with Draco thoughtfully placing his left hand behind Serenity__'__s head, so she wouldn__'__t hit the floor._

_His right hand stated tracing circles on her hips as she brought her left hand on his back and used her right to push his head back to her lips where he met her for another passionate and utterly earthshaking kiss. She had started fumbling with his shirt when a loud moan was heard; they both looked up, only to find moaning Myrtle staring at them with pure hatred. Then she flew to a sink and disappeared from their eyes._

_The two young lovers locked eyes and started laughing unable to contain the joy they felt anymore._

"_I think Myrtle has a crush on you." Serenity said as soon as she stopped laughing. Draco looked at her seriously._

"_It__'__s not like she will die from a broken heart you know…" Serenity mock punched him on the shoulder as he laughed again. "Besides, I only have eyes for one girl." He added as he moved for another kiss._

Serenity was brought back to reality, with a huge weight on her shoulders. She once again thought of her evening with Severus and how she had felt. At the moment she couldn't feel she was doing something wrong. She knew she loved Severus, but she also knew that she loved Draco.

'But can I love two men at the same time?' She pondered her own question for over an hour, until she came to a conclusion; yes, she could love two men at the same time. But did she love them in the same way? And did she love them both with the same passion? To that she held no answer, nor could she think of a way to find one. So she stared at the sealing once more realizing that no matter how smart she was, her heart would never obey to her reasoning.

So she just kept staring, hoping and praying for a conclusion to her wanderings, while in a dark room several floors below her, a man with black hair and eyes was tormented by his own jumbled thoughts.


	4. Midnight Ponderings Vol3

**Disclaimer; **I don't own harry Potter.

And here's the next chapter to the story! Btw, since this is Severus's point of view, ergo the last of the three, I'm issuing a poll in my profile page for the ending of this story… Who should it be? Severus or Draco? Your choice! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too. And don't forget; review people!

**MIDNIGHT PONDERINGS vol. 3**

Hogwarts; Dungeons; Midnight;

Severus had just woken up, only to find himself lying alone on the floor of his lab. Despite the coldness and roughness of the stone floor, he couldn't remember having slept more peacefully for over eighteen years. The only reason he was awake was his surprise when he turned to wrap his arms around the woman who was supposed to sleep next to him, only to touch the cold floor.

_Serenity_. She was supposed to be here with him the moment he woke up as she was the moment he fell asleep, rested on his chest as he stroke her dark hair. He tried to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong, what _he_ might have done wrong and scared her away, but all the images that flooded his mind were of pure happiness.

He thought of her soft skin, the way she smiled at him and the way they had kissed and fit together. Even of the way she had taken of his shirt when she realized she couldn't undo the buttons.

'Then what went wrong?' he thought to himself while combing his hair back with his hands. His mind was stuck on her image and nothing else would come through. He smiled softly to himself as he reminisced the first time he had seen Serenity. He wasn't there when she was shorted to her House, since he was forced to go and pick up Potter and Weasley that had just crushed on the weeping willow with Arthur Weasley's car.

No, the first time he had seen her was during her first potions lesson in that very same room. She was only eleven at the time and the only child in the room who didn't seem to be scared from the little speech he gave to all first years. And she had produced one of the best sleeping droughts he had ever seen in his life. He had decided at that moment that she was a promising student and that he would have to keep an eye on her just like he was doing with almost everyone in the school.

How she had changed so much during the years, right before his eyes, to become that amazing woman that was the only thing on his mind while he was dying was beyond him. Yet, he could easily remember the first time he noticed just how much she had grown. He closed his eyes and let his trademark smirk appear on his face as he pictured that stupid party Slughorn had thrown almost two years ago;

He was bored out of his mind, forced to answer stupid questions whose sole purpose was to boost Slughorn's ego. He had resolved in answering those questions with a 'yes' or 'no' when possible, hoping Slughorn would finally give up trying to include him in the conversation. Whilst the overweight professor was bubbling pointlessly about the Hollyhead Harpies, Severus had diverted his glance to scan the room out of habit, just to make sure nothing was wrong. That was when he spotted her;

Serenity was wearing a deep red dress, which clung to her body bringing out her curves in ways the school uniform never could. She had fixed her hair in a tight bun, letting down only two locks of hair, one on each side of her face, letting her face and swan like neck stand out. Almost all the male representatives of the human species in the room -and even that vampire Sanguini- were staring at her, but she seemed to have her gaze fixed on him.

Suddenly the room felt too hot and he had to fight the urge to undo the top buttons of his shirt that all the sudden felt far too tight. He knew his face had reddened slightly and he was pleased that she didn't seem to take notice. The rest of the people in the room looked like a blare, a kaleidoscope of dim colors where she was the only bright light, and the sounds faded to the background sounding nothing more than a faint buzz, overpowered by the drumming of his beating heart.

He couldn't stop himself; he smiled at her, something he hadn't done since Lily had died. He felt Slughorn tapping him on the shoulder to reclaim his attention -not that he ever had it in the first place- and for a second Severus felt playful; he rolled his eyes at her, his smile refusing to leave his face. He knew he had to go back answering Slughorn's questions before he was caught. And even though he seemed to pay attention to the conversation, all he could think as Slughorn was bubbling was that Serenity stared at him too.

He no longer cared she was a student while he was her professor. She was still young, but he could wait; he knew she was turning seventeen sometime in June next year. No, he didn't care about any of those things, at least not any more. He was set, adamant as a mater of fact, to talk to her and show her the other side of him, the one he was forced to keep inside, so he would pass as a cold hearted Deatheater. He was shocked he was experiencing such feelings again, after all this time. But, his surprise aside, the feelings were undisputedly there, having sprouted without him noticing, seemingly out of thin air.

He knew there were going to be obstacles in his way, the main one being the Dark Lord himself, but he might just have found the one thing that would motivate him to pull through that ordeal and make it out if not unscathed, at least alive. Yes, he was about to talk to her that night and he would have done so undoubtedly, if it hadn't been for…

Severus's eyes that had closed as he reminisced snapped open; how could he forget? Was his mind so overwhelmingly clouded by his need for her that such a crucial point had slipped his mind? Draco Malfoy; Serenity's boyfriend.

Severus rubbed his eyes with both of his hands as he sighed in exasperation. Was he that much beyond reason? He knew how important Serenity was to Draco from what Narcissa had told him last summer. Their relationship had started right before he begun searching for that blasted Potter brat that decided to disappear on him. So he had spent all year trying to figure out where he was so he could give him the sword of Gryffindor. As a result, between searching for Potter and making sure that Voldemort remained in the dark concerning his true colors, he had drifted away from Serenity, pretty much allowing her to fall straight into Draco's arms.

And the boy had fallen in love with her. Not that he could blame him for it; Severus seriously doubted Draco even had a chance. But he had fallen in love none the less and, according to his mother, it was Serenity that had prevented him from succumbing to depression or even worse.

He sighed once more in despair; there was no doubt in his mind that the boy was head over heels for her. But so was he. Because, even if he hadn't got the chance to admit it out loud yet, he _was_ in love with Serenity. It was the first time he experienced that feeling after Lily's demise and he wasn't keen on letting go; not this time around.

He let his mind roam back to how he had lost Lily to James Potter; of course it had been his fault in a great amount, but he couldn't help but think that if it hadn't been for James, he might have had the opportunity to patch things up with Lily. But, no, James simply had to drop on and steal Lily away from him, even though he knew his feelings for her, even though he…

And as such, his eyes widened again as guilt threatened to overthrow him; here he was blaming James Potter for robbing him of Lily's love, yet wasn't he doing the same to Draco? Wasn't he robbing him of his reason to live, claiming something that wasn't his to begin with?

But wasn't his love enough too? Wasn't he justified, being the first to notice her? But then again, he knew that James liked Lily for more than a couple of years before he got the nerve to ask her out. What if that was the case this time around?

Could he allow himself to end up being the same with the man he had spent all these years hating? Then a thought that grasped his insides in a painful clench passed his mind; he didn't know what feelings Serenity held towards Draco.

'What if she has regretted what happened between us?' he thought to himself as he rose from the floor and started passing up and down the room. He bowed down and picked his wand from the floor, for no specific reason but a childish hope a spell could give him the answer.

'Is that why she left? Does she blame me for this evening?' he entangled his fingers in his hair as he paced faster. 'What if she hates me now?' he stopped as if frozen solid, terrified by his own thoughts. A few tears escaped his eyes as he stared blankly at some cauldrons he had bought for his classes. He shook his head forcefully from the right to the left, as if he believed he could just detach the idea from his head.

Then anger came forth; not for Serenity, for he could never get angry with her, but for himself. He let out something that sounded something between a shout and a cry as he sent one of his strongest exploding spells towards the cauldrons, sending bits and pieces of them all over the room.

He looked at the mayhem he had caused but he didn't seem to care that the newly bought cauldrons might as well as be beyond repair. He had felt some of his tension leave his shoulders, though his guilt remained. He massaged his temples slowly as he tried to reason with himself; he reviewed the hours he had spent with Serenity that very same afternoon; he couldn't find a flaw, not a single dark spot in those precious hours.

He closed his eyes and leaned back for support on the wall, pressing his back on the cold stone behind him as the images of that same evening played behind his shut lids. He was afraid that he was going to scare her away with being too straightforward with her, but no, Merlin no! She had actually shredded his shirt with a cutting spell. He really hadn't seen that one coming, not that he would complain any time soon.

And her kisses; damn those lips! He wasn't even aware someone could feel that way through a kiss. He had tried to be gentle, he had really tried. But it had proved impossible. They had ended up making love on the floor and none of them seemed to care.

And it had been pure bliss the way their bodies reacted to each other. He could very clearly remember how daring she was, her small hands never hesitating, always moving and always craving for more, moving unyielding almost desperately on his chest, face, everywhere.

'That's the word…' he thought to himself. 'She was and is everywhere. My mind, my heart, my soul.' He sighed again and opened his eyes making a swift turn to throw his fist on the wall he was previously leaning on. It hurt like hell and it would hurt worse in the morning, but all he could think about was all his mixed feelings that were bursting to get out, almost ripping his chest in the process;

There was pain, guilt and a great deal of anger towards himself, that was for sure. But there was also love and it overwhelmed him. It was coming straight from his core and running across his body in a fervor following the path of his blood and intensifying with every beat of his drumming heart.

He thought of how she had changed and matured over the years and, most importantly, how she had changed him in the process. He could now have back all those feelings he had purged, technically ripped away, from his heart and had thought to be forbidden to him ever since he had done so. Because now there was love, hope, faith, devotion… now there was life.

He knew that Draco felt the exact same thing about Serenity, he had witnessed it himself; he had seen it in his eyes. But his mind was set and his resolve wasn't quivering. And most important of all, his heart was alive and kicking and ready for a fight.

Because he now knew. He had fought for redemption and he had fought for revenge. But if there was anything worth fighting till he would no longer breathe or his heart stopped beating -and maybe even after that- that was love. And it was a fight he was ready to give.


	5. A Meeting In Hogsmeade

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Harry Potter okay? How many times will I have to say it?

Wow, sorry for taking so long to update… I'm evil I guess… Anyways, here's the next chapter with the arrival of a much anticipated character and the introduction of the angst element in the story. Don't hurt me… Thanks to all of you who reviewed! You're the best guys and you know it! I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too. And, just so you know, I plan for the next chapters to get longer… I would always like to hear which one you would like Serenity to stay with at the end; Draco or Severus?

**Omg I think I'm in love;** Since you don't have an account, I'm using this AN to say that I'm actually working on a Phantom of the Opera story right now… So, you might just have to wait a bit longer for that one!

Read and review!

**A MEETING IN HOGSMEADE**

The next morning came faster than Serenity could have imagined, probably due to the fact she had only slept for three hours. Almost mechanically, she proceeded getting dressed and ready for a Saturday visit at Hogsmeade. Her mind was numb from all the questions that kept pouring themselves in her stream of thoughts, but she was lucid enough to decide not to attend breakfast that morning.

She wanted to be sure, absolutely and without any doubt sure, about her feelings before facing either Severus or Draco.

'It will be easier to avoid Draco for the time being,' she thought, 'but my first lesson on Monday is Potions…' and thus thinking to herself she moved towards the school's exit that lead to Hogsmeade, ignoring her friends' callings to her and Filch's attempts to check her, just like he did with any student that left or entered the castle.

Serenity knew this was partially Draco's doing, but thinking of her blond boyfriend only made her more confused than she was before, for his mere thought brought forth a sense of longing that, on account to last night's activities, shouldn't be there. And, of course, along with longing came guilt as she remembered the time they had spent together last year and during the summer.

Almost like she was in a trance, she paced through the still relatively empty streets of Hogsmeade and walked straight into the 'Three Broomsticks' hoping a butter beer -for she despised fire whiskey- might clear her thoughts. She was violently woken from her midday wanderings as, once seating herself at one of the tables, she let her eyes wonder around the room, for no apparent reason other than a small urge inside her head that almost automatically moved her head around.

And there he was; he hadn't seen her yet for he was seated at the bar ordering something to drink himself, but she could unmistakably recognize him even without seeing his face. The tall, lean frame of his body that everyone in the know realized how strongly build it truly was. The broad shoulders, his long legs that reached the ground even thought he was seated on a barstool. His deep voice, now that she could hear it, as he thanked madam Rosmerta for his drink and most of all, his thick ash blond hair.

There was no doubt in her heart; she was looking at the very object of her previous ponderings. She was looking at Draco Malfoy. Her Ravenclaw wits started getting into gear almost immediately. He hadn't seen her yet, so if she wanted to she could turn the other way and run. But she knew he had come to Hogsmeade to surprise her because, form their last letter, she was left with the impression he would be in his manor as he waited for the exams to take place;

He had admitted to her that, besides just preparing on taking lead of the Malfoys' business that was thriving once again now that their name was cleared as they were known to be forced into working for Voldemort, instead of supporting him on their free will, he wanted to work in the ministry and was ready to take his exams to become an Unspeakable. Serenity knew not what exactly he would have to do after he passed his exams -for she was sure he would pass- since nobody really knew what the Unspeakables were actually doing, but she supported his decision of wanting to make a difference.

And though right now she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to react to him as she did before as her mind screamed for her to leave, her heart was fiercely opposing and was starting to gain on her reasoning too. For all she seemed to want after just three seconds those ponderings took was run straight to him, hold him for dear life and never let him go. And without allowing her mind to get in the way, that was just what she did.

She ran to him as he turned around and he barely had a second to see her coming, before she launched herself to him, face buried in his chest and hands tight around his waist. He let down his bottle of what appeared to be butter beer too, that had miraculously and only due to his great reflexes hadn't ended up on the floor, and wrapped his arms around her. He was the first one to break the silence;

"Hi there gorgeous." He whispered huskily in her ear as he pulled her face upwards for a kiss. Serenity that only seconds ago dreaded that kiss found herself kissing him back with the same, if not more, passion loosing herself into the kiss as a wave of warmth spread from her lips to her body while a soft moan escaped his mouth. "Glad to know I was missed." He whispered between chuckles as Serenity was battling with her madness. Surprising even herself however she simply answered with a light;

"Glad to know I was missed too." With a smile that involuntarily made an appearance on her face. She let him lead her to a table and she sat down wondering how he always seemed to have the ability to make her smile like that, even in the worst of days. Last night she had considered about how she would talk to him and she was almost certain she wouldn't be able to look at him, let alone speak. But now that he was actually here, she found it impossible to look away and felt compelled to speak, just so that she could hear his voice again.

"Not that I'm not overjoyed," She began surprised that her voice wasn't trembling, and even more astound that she actually felt overjoyed, "but weren't you supposed to be studying for your exams?" She already felt guilty about what she had done and she really didn't want to be the cause of him failing his exams. He merely smiled at her as he spoke;

"I think I have mastered the spells I will be needing, thank you very much. Plus, I revised history, charms and transformation theories. And besides, I was driving myself mad with not being able to see you." He reached for her face and she leaned closer to his touch that held such a magnetic pull, she almost felt like a moth drowned to the flame. As she considered the analogy, she realized she had just as many chances to get burned as the said moth, though in this case the moth might actually extinguish the fire too in the process.

Her thoughts let her agonized and he seemed to notice as he looked at her eyes with concern; "Are you alright?" He asked his eyes searing her very soul, making her feel just like she was being burned from the inside out again. Damn, he knew her too well. She half noticed that if his eyes had held hatred and still looking at her with the same intensity she would have been terrified, but now that the love he had was so evident in them the burning feeling was not one half unpleasant. But the guilt she felt was.

Right then she realized she wasn't yet ready to reveal to him what had taken place between her and Severus. And though her usual tactic was to speak the truth, she was so afraid that she would hurt him -and so deeply terrified that she would lose him- that she just couldn't tell him. She was coming up with an answer, when madam Rosmerta came to take her order and bring Draco the butter beer he had left at the bar. Serenity ordered the same and turned back to face her boyfriend;

"I guess being back to school as the Head Girl got me a little stressed out. I'll manage though." She said smiling though her insides were twisting; she had lied to him and it was killing her. It felt like acid was poured straight onto her heart and in a way she felt like she deserved to feel likewise. Yes, she deserved to be punished, even tortured for what she did, as long as he didn't have to suffer any more than he had suffered in the past.

He smiled at her softly again as he moved form the chair he was sitting to the couch she was on, holding her to an embrace, comforting her as much as he could. It was evident from his actions and words that he had believed her and that hurt her even more. He had absolute trust in her and she had betrayed him the worst way possible.

"There is nothing to worry for love." He reassured her, oblivious at the way the word 'love' affected her, both in the worst and best manner. "You happen to be the smartest, brightest, most intelligent girl I've ever laid eyes on. And the most beautiful one too," he added playfully tagging on her neck, causing her to arch a little backwards to allow him better access "but that is completely irrelevant… or not." He concluded as Serenity moaned ever so slightly. She had to remind herself they were in a half full bar and that it wasn't the best place for where their conversation was leading them. He seemed to be coming to the same realization too as he pulled back smiling a little cockishly to the reaction he had pulled out of her, and right on time too as madam Rosmerta returned with Serenity's butter beer.

She sipped at the bubbly liquid letting it warm her reassuringly as she made small talk with Draco, letting his presence sooth her, still surprised with the passion Draco stirred in her. No, she couldn't tell him, not yet at least. Not before she had cleared her mind, not before she was sure. So there she stood talking like nothing had happened, relishing and drowning at the same time in the love she felt for the man sitting next to her, more confused than she was at the beginning of the day.

And most importantly, she sat there oblivious to the man clad in black that had was hiding his hurt face behind a mask of icy demeanor, only his coal black eyes burning tortured as he observed the whole scene between the two from the shop's window.


	6. A Much Needed Conversation

**Disclaimer; **I own Harry Potter. No, really I do. You don't believe me? Yeah you're right… But I can dream, right?

**A.N.: **Long time no see… I know I'm awful, but life got in the way of my updates… The important think is I'm back! And with a new chapter. Okay this one is a little more angsty than usual, mostly because Serenity isn't a Mary-Sue thus she has feelings and can from time to time, well, burst. And we have a bit of a lemon here too… But enough from me! Enjoy the chapter and don't forget to review!

**A MUCH NEEDED CONVERSATION**

_And most importantly, she sat there oblivious to the man clad in black that had was hiding his hurt face behind a mask of icy demeanor, only his coal black eyes burning tortured as he observed the whole scene between the two from the shop's window._

Severus had awakened with a start that day. He knew this was the day for the first Hogsmeade trip, so he probably wouldn't be able to talk to Serenity before nightfall. Still, he couldn't help a premonition he was getting, a little voice at the back of his head whispering he had to see Serenity immediately. He could almost taste that something dreadful and quite possibly painful could happen to him if he didn't.

So he got out of bed not failing to realize he had only slept for an hour or so; it was barely six in the morning. He got dressed quickly and headed to the Great Hall making up his mind that he would meet Serenity there and, with some pretence of some work that would have to be done in the lab, take her aside and talk to her about yesterday night.

He reached the Great Hall and sat on the professors' table. The only other professor there was McGonagall who, being the Headmistress and being herself, always made it down first. She gave him an inquiring look and he simply nodded in acknowledgment; he was never one for jovial conversations but today especially he couldn't even afford having them.

He just sat down and fumbled with his food barely touching it while he stared, as discreetly as it could be expected, at the Ravenclaw table waiting for Serenity to walk into the room. It took him exactly thirty minutes to get agitated enough so that he could no longer stand still. He damned his luck that he couldn't get a drink inside the school. He normally didn't drink at all, but right now he felt like he needed it. He looked at the clock and reasoned himself thinking that Serenity wouldn't come down for another hour and a half or so.

He was afraid he was being kind of a stalker, but he couldn't help noticing her when she was walking in a room with light footsteps, her hips swaying seductively, her face lightening once she saw her friends. And then there were those doe eyes of hers…

'Get a grip Severus!' he ordered himself as he rose from the table without uttering a single word to the gathering professors. He headed for the school's exit halfway lost in his thoughts as he moved through the corridors. He hoped that a drink could help clear his thoughts even if he never was much of a drinker. He abruptly decided not to take the usual path but to walk through the fields instead wishing the walk could give him some lead as to how he could proceed.

Somehow, without a particular reason really, approaching her in front of all her friends and asking her to go into his office because he had to inquire whether the steamy events of last night meant they were in an official relationship now didn't seem to be the right way to go.

As he considered his possibilities he approached the school's exit from a side road and had just enough time to stop dead on his tracks before coming out to the open area before the gate when he saw Serenity herself walking through the gates, ignoring Filtch who was trying to check her for black magic in the process.

He immediately realized that she had decided to skip breakfast and changed his plans. He almost moved to talk to her, but held himself back and not just because he was afraid he would be seen; she had skipped breakfast. In other words she had tried to avoid him and that stung. Really, _really_ bad.

So instead of talking to her he decided to follow her and see where she was headed. If he had tried that in any other day she would have sensed him coming, for that he was sure, but today she seemed exceptionally distracted and that worked for his benefit. And it was under such condition that he managed to follow her through Hogsmeade and all the way to the front door of the Three Broomsticks, the very same bar he was headed only minutes ago. He watched her take a sit as he contemplated entering the bar himself.

She was confused and needed some time to think, he could get that. But he also understood that they urgently needed to talk. At their present state he wasn't even sure he could stay in the same room as her without feeling an urge to run and kiss her and not knowing if she felt the same was practically killing him.

So, he took in a long, albeit unsteady breath, steeled his nerves and looked at her once more through the window before he entered the bar. And for the second time in less than fifteen minutes he become frozen solid where he stood. For Serenity's stare had sifted from the table she was pointlessly looking at in the beginning and had turned scorching hot to the blond young man sitting at the bar.

Draco Malfoy.

'What in Merlin's name is Draco Malfoy doing here?' he screamed in his mind. 'Of course he is here.' His more sarcastic side scolded himself. '_He_ is her boyfriend. _He_ is allowed to pay her a visit.' Severus seethed inside and for a reason unknown to him felt a little smug about what he and Serenity did last night. 'Take that Malfoy Jr.!' But his good spirits were only meant to be short lived. He gasped, his eyes wide open at what he was seeing.

Serenity had left her table and flown straight to Draco's arms. He turned around and held her, both their faces radiant, as if a soft light was emanating from their very souls. And then they kissed. And it wasn't just a soft peck on the lips, no. It was a full of passion, breathtaking kiss, as if they hadn't seen each other for years not a short week.

He couldn't breathe any longer and he tried, he really did. He just couldn't. A tear escaped his eyes as he watched them sitting on a table, still holding hands. His mind wasn't functioning and the last clear thought he had before going completely numb was storming in that bar and shooting a Cruciatus or an Avada Kedavra straight to the blond. And he would have done just that if the blond in question hadn't reached for Serenity's face and then kissed her, pulling himself to the couch with her and making her moan, both seemingly forgetting that they were in a public area.

They broke the kiss as if they had just realized that too, Malfoy with a smug smile on his face. Severus felt empty. Completely hollow. His heart was still beating in his chest and its sound felt like drums echoing inside his head, all purpose of that drumming now in the hands of another man. Lost forever.

He knew his face would look like a mask made of ice to the onlooker. Maybe it was better that way; he had always hated pity. He turned away to leave not wanting to witness the happiness of the young lovers any longer. He just turned away and left, his eyes seeing practically nothing as if he his feet were carrying away on their own, his only thought to reach his room were he could hide from the world for as long as possible. He knew he had a stash of fire whiskey he had taken from Slughorn's office last year; it was time to make use out of it.

He turned away and failed to see Serenity whirling towards the window just in time to catch the empty look on his face and the dullness of his eyes as he moved. She knew he had seen her and Draco. She knew she had hurt him.

'Great! Just great!' She screamed in her mind panicking. 'Merlin, can't I get a break?' She knew she had to follow him, if nothing else, she felt that she had to explain. She turned to Draco, tearing her heart to shreds as she prepared to lie to him again.

"Merlin, I completely forgot!" Draco looked at her surprised.

"Forgot what love?" he asked looking at her confused.

"I had promised professor Snape I would help him with a new bunch of potions. His stash was diminished during the fight last year." 'Where did that come from?' She asked herself as a piece of her heart evaporated realizing he had believed her.

"That's what you get for being a genius." He teased her, kissing her softly on the lips, making her touch the sky and burn in Hell at the same time. "Get to it then. I'll be waiting right here for you." Serenity thanked him with a kiss of her own and left the bar.

Draco stared at her retreating form, feeling the pain of their separation building up inside him as he reached a conclusion in his mind. Something was bothering Serenity and it had nothing to do her being a Head Girl at all. And though he was slightly hurt she refused to confide in him, he reasoned it was one of her ways to keep him safe and concentrated on his exams. She always took care of him that way, even if it meant extra strain from her part and he loved her all the more for that.

But he couldn't bear having something to strain her in the least. Exams be damned, he cared for her a million times more than he did for a stupid job. He vowed to get to the bottom of this and make sure she would be happy. For that was the new goal he had set for himself in his life and he was going to make sure he succeeded or die in the process.

As Serenity turned right in an alley heading back to the castle and left his eyesight he sighed and silently prayed it wouldn't be long before he got her back into his arms. He gave himself three hours maximum, before storming into Hogwarts and into the potions lab to just get a glimpse of her.

'Professor Snape wouldn't object if I watched them work, would he?' he asked himself as he reached up with his fingers to touch his lips that were still tingling from their parting kiss. He swiftly reassessed; 'Screw my original assessment; three hours? I give myself two hours tops.' With that, he took another ship from his butter beer and let his mind wander to Serenity and their time together until he could have her next to him once more.

In the mean time Serenity walked back to the castle, not sure about what she should expect once she got there or how she should react. How was she even expected to react in a situation like this one? All she needed was a few hours to think things through but she couldn't even get that now, could she? She was still confused and in pain. Although it had happened a lot sooner than she had originally planned, she had been almost sure her feelings and thoughts would be clear after seeing Draco again.

And, of course, she had been dead wrong about that. All things considered, she was now more confused than ever, for she had found her feelings towards Draco hadn't changed; if anything, except the obvious crashing guilt, a new speck of longing had been added to the range of emotions his mere thought stirred into her.

She entered the castle and made a turn for the dungeons, only to change her mind mid way. Something told her that she would find Severus in his quarters and not in the lab, so she decided to go with her instincts. With a decisiveness of unknown origins she turned around and headed towards his room.

She reached Severus's privet quorters in less than fifteen minutes and stood outside his door, not knowing what she should do. Should she knock, or just storm in there? She decided to knock first and if all else failed she would take her wand out. She knocked, took a step back and waited.

"Who is it?" Came a deep voice from inside the room, startling her by how hollow it sounded.

"It's me, Serenity. Could I come in?" Severus, who had just helped himself to his forth glass of fire whiskey, couldn't believe his ears. Serenity? Here? Was fate taunting him? Was _she_? Without letting his gaze avert from the door he answered;

"Miss Morrigan, I would appreciate it if you left." He said drinking the contents of his glass in one gulp. Serenity froze in place; _Miss Morrigan_? She was _Miss Morrigan_ now? That got her blood boiling and, partly due to her Irish and Mediterranean ancestry but mostly because of her own fiery temper, the heat could scorch anything and anyone in a five feet radius.

"All right then _professor_, I'll rephrase my question;" She spat in a mock sweet tone, stressing the word professor as much as she could. Severus couldn't help but notice. "Would you open the door, or would you rather I blew it to smithereens with a bombarding spell?" Severus's eyes widened again. He could tell she meant every word. He rushed to the door and opened it, letting Serenity enter and closing it behind her. He heard the door click, an indicator that his automatic locking spell was still intact. He wasn't sure if being locked with Serenity in his quarters was the best place for him to be in the moment. "Thank you." She said calmly while observing the bottle and glass on his desk.

"And to what do I own the pleasure?" he asked as she turned around to stare at him. He knew he was cold, but he couldn't help it. The anger in her eyes however surprised him more than everything. Why would she be angry?

"Are you mocking me?" She asked furiously.

"Funny," he answered, "I was thinking something around the same lines seconds ago." She looked at him confused.

"_I'm_ mocking you? _Me_? And pray tell me, how am I exactly doing that?"

"Let's see." Severus answered approaching her. "I was waiting for you in the Great Hall so we could talk about what had happened yesterday and you not only decided that you had to avoid me, but ran back to Malfoy," he spoke Draco's name as an insult "like nothing had happened. And then you come here and expect… what did you expect exactly? Did Malfoy had to leave so you decided to come here and toy with me some more?"

Serenity's head was spinning; he thought she had done everything intentionally? That she was toying with him?

"Toying with you? Is that what you think I'm doing?" She asked hurt as she looked into his black eyes.

"So you're not?" He asked furiously once again. "And if you're not what exactly it is you're doing meeting with Malfoy behind my back?"  
"I didn't know Draco would be in Hogsmeade!" She protested. "I just went to Hogsmeade so I could figure things out by my self and found him there!"

"And you ran straight into his arms! I guess you figured things out pretty fast, didn't you?" Severus couldn't explain what had taken over him; he would have never even dreamt to speak like that to her and he could see she was hurting, but it was like someone else had taken control of his body and did all the talking for him. He couldn't recognize this new side of himself, a side that seemed to be running remotely on rage and jealousy, but he couldn't stop it either.

"Figured things out?" Serenity asked.

"Yes. It's pretty clear you made your choice." He spat back.

"_Made my choice?_" she whispered, repeating his question, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"You chose Malfoy. Fine! I hope you enjoy your life with him. Now if you excuse me, I have urgent work that needs my attention." He said frostily as he motioned for her to exit the room. She stood there frozen, her hair falling over her face as she stared at the floor. He looked at her and his breath caught at his throat.

He realized how much his words had affected her and he felt like the monster the rest of the wizarding world had thought him to be last year. The year she alone had defended him. He opened his mouth to apologize, but she beat him to the punch.

She raised her head and he saw tears were streaming down her face as she felt unable to keep them bolted inside any longer. And, following their trail upwards, he saw the pain and anger that filled her eyes. His heart skipped a beat; he was the one responsible for her condition. He felt like there was nothing he could possibly ever do that would grant him redemption for such a sin. And then she started talking, her voice toneless, almost haunted;

"How can you say something like that? How _dare_ you?" She looked at him straight in the eyes now and he couldn't believe the intensity her stare could hold. He tried to speak once again but she interrupted him; "No, you will hear me out." She stated calmly. "I've always respected you, ever since the first time I stepped in your class during my first year. I have practically spent my years here in Hogwarts trying to defend you from other students. And then suddenly, almost two years ago, I saw you in that stupid Christmas party Slughorn threw. And I realized I felt much more than respect for you. Much more than I should feel for a professor in general; I felt _love_. And I actually accepted it. I never believed you were a murderer and gave my all to defend you. But you drifted away. And then I met Draco. In the beginning I thought he could be a friend, someone that would understand me. He needed help at the time and I figured that if I couldn't help you, I could at least help him, for I knew he too was innocent, or at least, was dragged into this whole mess unwillingly. So we started talking and meeting more and more often. I don't know when exactly I fell in love with him, but I'm not going to lie; I _did_ fall in love with him. Hard. And I still am in love with him. I love him so much it hurts. And I'm in love with you. After what happened yesterday, I wanted some time on my own to figure things out and that's why I went to Hogsmeade; not to avoid you, but everyone in general. And there I found Draco, who had actually come to surprise me, knowing today was the first visit in Hogsmeade. And yes, I kissed him, but that doesn't mean I have decided. How the Hell do you expect me to decide in less than twenty four hours?" Her eyes turned cold and Severus kept listening, afraid of what would come next. Her voice grew stronger and turned accusing;

"I saw the way you looked at me at that party. I knew you must have felt something about me too and I actually was stupid enough to believe you would even give me the slightest hint that you cared. I knew you had a job to do, even if I wasn't sure of the exact content so I wasn't expecting a relationship, not at the age of fifteen; I just wanted one damn ray of hope! Just one hint! But no; you forced me into waiting for two years before you spoke up! And then you try to force me into choosing? _I'm not made out of stone!_" She was screaming now and Severus couldn't blame her. "I can't turn my feelings on and off just like that! I tried, I really did…" Tears were falling from her eyes once again and right in front of Severus's eyes she fell to her knees and stared at the floor, her long hair cascading, partially hiding her face. Her body was shaking and some tears fell from her face to the stone floor as he heard her whisper between sobs;

"Please… I can't. Just _please_…" that was enough for him. Wiping his own tears, he kneeled by her on the floor and held her in his arms. She fumbled slightly, trying to break free from his embrace, but he was stronger. So soon she was crying on his shoulder as he whispered;

"I'm so sorry love. I just lost it when I saw you with Draco. I didn't know what it meant, you kissing him. I knew you would never have stayed in a relationship with him if you didn't love him and that only made things worse for me. I never meant to push you… but I love you. Despite all I've said I really do. And I'm not asking for your forgiveness. I just want you, no I _beg_ you, to stop crying. Be as mad as you want with me, but please don't cry." Serenity raised her head to look at him once more with eyes red from crying, rendering Severus unable to believe how beautiful she looked even in that state.

"You _love_ me?" She asked softly her lips slightly parted.

"Of course I do. With all my heart. I love you." There; he had said it. He looked at her as she tried to comprehend his words. Her breath touched his face softly and he couldn't hold himself back even if he knew he wasn't helping her. He reached forward and kissed her. Serenity was too shocked to respond at the beginning, but slowly her lips molded with his as she found herself kissing him back. Severus pulled back to look at her and this time she made the first move, closing the gap and kissing him again, ignoring her mind that was screaming this was probably only making things worse.

Severus responded, equally surprised, but soon found himself unable to think as her hands found their way under his shirt. He whispered her name softly and pulled her from the floor and into his arms as he moved them to some place more comfortable; his bed.

They kept kissing and touching as they undressed each other, moving as fast as they could. His lips felt like fire on her skin as he trailed from her mouth downwards. Once Severus saw she was left with nothing but her underwear he stopped and cupped her face with his hands, guilt evident in his voice.

"Serenity, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone that far. I had no right after all that I did." She looked back at him with eyes dark from passion, being far past the point when she could think reasonably. So, with a deep voice she barely recognized as her own, she spoke;

"You should be sorry. But not for this." That pushed Severus over the edge once more. His hands travelled up and down her body as she undid his pants, throwing them on the floor. It didn't take more than a minute for them to completely forget they were a part of this world. Their bodies moved in harmony, lips locked, hands touching, caressing every inch of skin they could find.

Serenity gasped and moaned, not caring who would listen, as Severus moved in and out from her body, bringing her closer to the edge of reason with every thrust, with every breath. And when he hit her right there, in that secret spot deep inside her, sending them both over the edge, she was sure she could never regret her actions. No matter her final choice.

In the meantime, back in Hogsmeade, a young man named Draco Malfoy decided he had waited long enough and started walking towards his old school, his thoughts fixated solely on the love he had for the girl he yearned to see; on his Serenity.


	7. Crossroad

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Harry Potter. Could you please allow me to keep Draco? I'll feed him I promise! No? Okay…

**A.N.:** I'm a terrible, terrible person. I am. It's been months since I've last updated… But, in my defence, I'm a terrible person who had to study for her mid-terms. And look; a new chapter! Draco might seem a little OOC in it, but remember Serenity had been influencing him for more than a year in this story… Hope you'll enjoy it! Please review! AND remember my poll? Severus or Draco? Come on people; VOTE!

**CROSSROAD**

_In the meantime, back in Hogsmeade, a young man named Draco Malfoy decided he had waited long enough and started walking towards his old school, his thoughts fixated solely on the love e had for the girl he yearned to see; on his Serenity._

Something trembling inside her. Something she could not yet identify; she was lying in a bed, she could tell as much. She could bet her wand thought that it wasn't her own bed, she could tell that much too. She took a deep breath, trying to clear her head; it didn't smell like her bed either. It held a clearly masculine note, something like the sea breeze with some deeper tones of citrus; a smell that was a little bitter, but definitely pleasant and somehow pulling.

With a start she realized she couldn't be in Draco's bed. His scent was a tad darker of shorts. She would recognize Draco's scent everywhere; black pine needles and rain that always reminded Serenity of dark forests, winter and the steep mountains where his family's castle was located in central Europe; Draco and her had spent some time there during the summer.

Back to the present though, that wasn't Draco's bed she was in and if it wasn't hers either, then who's was it? She tried to remember, striving through her thoughts in order to find some point of reason, a ray of light in the haziness that was clouding her mind.

She could remember she had been in a hurry. She could remember crying. But _why_? And you call yourself a Ravenclaw? A little voice in her head taunted her. And now you're talking to yourself; marvelous. A strong hand crept over her waist and realization hit her like a tone of bricks; she was in Severus's bed. She had spent the past… how long was she really there? Minutes, hours? Days? Her whole life? The hand around her waist tightened and she realized Severus was awake. She couldn't believe she was in his arms once again… after all she had done to move on and after all her anguish, she had come back to him and had found herself in the exact same position that got her in trouble the fist place.

She was panicking once more. What did that mean for her now? Was she going to be with Severus, or stay with Draco for good? Her thoughts were still in pieces and no means of reason reached her troubled mind. Serenity sighed and made a swift decision. She had to face her problems once and for all; for even though she still had no solution to her problem, she couldn't postpone this conversation any longer. She also refused to fall into pieces once more; she had done that already and she had to put it behind. It had been her decisions that had led her where she was now and it was going to be her decisions that would get her out.

"Are you awake love?" She sighed again, realizing that she couldn't postpone what she had in mind anymore. And had he really called her 'love'? 'Don't be afraid now.' She ordered herself as she shifted her weight to her right elbow so she could stare right into Severus's eyes. She looked straight at him and allowed herself to take him in, as he lay right next to her, seemingly with no worry in the whole world anymore. He looked like he was absolutely relaxed and happy with himself, almost gloating in the after light of their latest close encounter. _Gloating_, another action she could have never connected with Severus in the past. She wasn't so sure it was a bad reaction to get out of him in their current situation.

She thought of all that had happened between the two of them and all she had been through with Draco. You still haven't reached a decision, that increasingly annoying voice in her head reminded her; 'Yes, I really need this talk… _we _need this…' She pondered her last thought and shuddered realizing she still didn't know what the word 'we' stood for. She gathered her thoughts and calmed her nerves, trying to depict the tranquility her name stood for, at the same time ignoring the storm that raged inside her, threatening to consume her reason once and for all.

"Hi there." She whispered softly, letting a smile form in her face. She realized there was something else she had to ask before they got engulfed with their more serious issues. "Ehm… could you tell me what time it is? I kind of lost track…" A self-satisfied smirk crept on his face as she blushed furiously.

"It's around two in the evening. You've been sleeping exactly for two hours, seven minutes and some seconds." Serenity looked at him dubiously and he chuckled pointing at the clock on the bed stand behind her. "I counted every second. I wasn't sure when you would decide to try making yet another a run for your life, so I wanted to make sure I engraved every moment I spent with you in my mind for good. To tell you the truth, it wasn't all that hard…" He admitted sheepishly looking down at her waist making her all that more self-conscious.

"Well, that's very…ehm… thoughtful of you. I guess." She said unable to form a more coherent response. She soon regained her composure -as much as she could, of course, given the fact that she was entangled in Severus's sheets- and decided to start the talk they desperately needed. "Severus, I wanted to talk to you about…"

"About what's happening between us right?" He asked solemnly and Serenity could do nothing more than nod. "I thought as much. First of all let me tell you that I needed to hear what you told me this morning; not that I enjoyed making you cry, no. For that, I will never forgive myself. But I needed to hear your side of the story; when I saw you in Hogsmeade this morning with Draco I felt…" he paused as if he couldn't come up with an appropriate word. He locked his eyes with Serenity's and allowed his long fingers to toy with her long hair. Then he closed his eyes and continued; "Betrayed. I felt betrayed. I found myself wishing for the first time that Voldemort did succeed in killing me last summer. There are no other words that could describe that feeling."

"Severus I…" she was looking at him feeling immensely guilty.

"No need to say anything. It was all my fault this time; I should have known how confused you would be with all that recent development. I have been thinking about what happened yesterday night for months before I actually allowed my self to approach you. In the end I was so eager for it to happen, for _us_ to happen, that I didn't realize how confused you would be. Especially given your relationship with Draco." He stopped again and let his fingers run through her hair once more.

Serenity's mind was as baffled as ever; she had hopped this conversation was going to clear things up for her, but still there she was in the exact same condition as before. The little voice of Ravenclaw reason in her urged her to keep him talking. Maybe if he could tell her more she could figure out her own thoughts too. And for once, when Severus Snape was concerned, she decided to listen to that little voice. Or se decided to listen to her own pounding heart that was eager to find out what was going on behind his dark eyes; for the sake of her pride, she opted it was the voice of reason that compelled her to ask;

"And now? What do you feel now?" His eyes connected with hers again and then he pulled her closer so that she found herself with her head on his warm, hard chest. She could perfectly hear his heart beating steadily, if somehow accelerated, right beneath her.

"Right now I feel happy." Serenity frowned and even though Severus could not see her, he seemed to understand his words puzzled her further. So, he chuckled lightly and continued; "I finally know that all that happened between us wasn't just a one time thing. That it wasn't just a game. That it meant for you just as much as it meant for me. And after what happened this morning, yes, I would describe myself as happy. All that matters to me now is how do _you_ feel?" And there it was; the question she was dreading; how did she feel? Did she even know herself?

"I won't lie to you Severus; I still am confounded. I know I care for you. I _love_ you. But everything happened so fast that I feel my mind has yet to catch up with my heart." She spoke softly closing her eyes and bracing herself for the impact. All she felt was Severus's fingers gently lifting her head upwards do that he could face her; she opened her eyes reluctantly and looked at him. His expression was soft and he was smiling gently at her.

"You love me? After everything I have done and said you do?" Serenity's eyebrows shot upwards in surprise.

"I thought that much was clear by now."

"I'm more insecure than I look I assure you." He said and lifted her head closer to his, capturing her lips in a soft yet tantalizing kiss. "And I love you too. I should have told you sooner. But I will make amends for all lost time, I promise." He was meaning every word he had spoken; Serenity could see that in his eyes. "Before you came along I was a broken man. Something awful from my past couldn't let me go forward. Then again maybe it was me who couldn't leave it behind all along. Either way, I was sure I wouldn't ever love again even though I had offers in the past; none of them could touch me. I was lost for the world when love was concerned. And then I met you; you taught me how it feels like to be in love once more. Just how good it feels like to let someone in without being afraid; and when I let you in, you reminded it me what it feels like to be happy again. You _healed_ me. Completely and totally you healed me. And now as a whole man I can offer myself to you completely without anything holding me back."

Serenity's throat felt dry and her eyesight was misty; she had guessed something of such great a magnitude had happened in his past but guessing and hearing it from Severus himself was something completely different altogether.

"Severus I…" She begun again but he interrupted her with another kiss.

"There still is no need to say anything; I'm not going to push you into deciding; just know that I will always be there for you. I will always love you and I will be here ready for you, come what may." And then he kissed her again and for a little longer all of their concerns were forgotten.

An hour later while Serenity was resting in Severus's arms once more a single thought pierced her hazy mind; how long would it ne before someone came looking for one of them? And what about Draco? He knew she would be with Severus, supposedly helping him with labeling ingredients for potions. She had to get going; her stupid mind was still irresolute and no matter what, she wouldn't leave Draco find out about her and Severus; not like that at least.

"Severus?"

"Yes love?"

"I think I should probably leave." She could feel him freezing beneath her and she rushed to explain. "I'm still a student here and you're a teacher; someone is bound to start looking for us and finding us like this… well, let's just say it won't be pretty." She didn't think it wise to tell him about Draco too. She immediately felt him relax.

"You're probably right. And come to think of it I'm supposed to be in Hogsmeade with the other professors; I'd better get moving too." He admitted and then let out a sigh. "That doesn't mean I'm going to enjoy it though." Serenity laughed at his statement; he sounded so much like a teenage boy at that moment. Unwillingly, they both stood up from the bed and, after making sure their appearances wouldn't betray what they had been up to all morning, they parted ways with one last kiss. Severus made his way to Hogsmeade, while Serenity opted to go to her room, wanting to be alone for a while.

She moved through the corridors that were much less crowded now that the majority of the student body was in Hogsmeade, still trying to put her feelings in order; what Severus had told her had cleared up a lot of things in her mind and a decision seemed to, _finally_, make its way to her mind and heart. She pushed her bedchamber's door open and got ready to fall on her bed when she noticed a letter, along with a single red rose, were left on her pillow.

She moved towards the bed, lifted the rose and brought it closer to her face so she could take in its scent. She smiled softly and then looked at the letter; she didn't need to read the name to see from whom the letter was. She would recognize that elegant handwriting between a million others; but why would Draco use an owl to contact her when he was in Hogsmeade?

_My love,_

_I know I promised I would be here for you when you returned to Hogsmeade, but I__'__m afraid I had to go; family business is just coming back to tracks, as you know, and my father called for my help. But I swear on my life that I will be with you tomorrow; for you know there is no place in the world I would rather be than your arms, my true home._

_While we were in Hogsmeade this morning, I couldn__'__t help but notice that something was troubling you. Paining you even. And though I trust you with my life and happiness, what I will never stand is your pain and pain is just what I saw in your eyes. My love, if I am -unwillingly- the source of your anguish, please, do forgive me. My happiness is nothing compared to yours, for I__'__m not happy, I can__'__t breathe, I can__'__t live if you__'__re unhappy. I realized this morning that you__'__re not ready to tell me what troubles you yet and I want you to know that I won__'__t push you into confessing. Your secrets are yours to keep and I__'__m ready to respect that. I just want you to know that I__'__m here for you if you need to talk. Always waiting; always for you._

_And most importantly, I__'__m taking this opportunity to write you something I should have told you a long time ago. For taking me in when I was nothing but an insolent brat. For shedding light into my dark emptiness and loving me when I didn__'__t deserve it. For changing me from a hollow boy to the man I am today. For saving my life; Serenity Morigan, with all I have, thank you. You are my one and only love, my light, my saving grace, my life. And I love you. Merlin, I can__'__t even begin to describe how much I love you! Words aren__'__t enough to express what I feel for you, if there are even words for such a feeling._

_With all the love I never thought I had in me. With all the love you brought to me. With all my heart. With my life. With my everything; I__'__m yours._

_Love,_

_Draco._

Serenity read the letter more than once, until her eyesight was so blurred from her tears that she could read no more. She brought the letter to her heart and thought about everything she and Draco had shared and all they could still have together. She thought of his eyes, his smile, his voice and his ability to make her heart beat faster every single time she saw him. Of the vulnerable side he held hidden from the world and of his determination to change for the best and make a difference. And she thought about Severus and how all the dreams she had about them being together were now coming true. She thought about his laughter when no one but her was around and about how it made her feel.

And thus the hours passed. For one thing she was now sure as she watched the moon rise outside her window; she had made her decision. The more she thought about it the more her heart told her she had chosen correctly. And yet she cried, for tomorrow she would break the heart of one of the two men she loved so much. So she cried and prayed the damage she would cause wouldn't be irreparable. 


	8. When Dreams Come True

**A.N.: **Hey there! Okay, the results of the poll were clear… You want Serenity to stay with Severus… So, here it is; the end of the story… Or is it not? Let's say it's ONE end for the story: you will get an alternative one in a few days, I promise. For now though… Enjoy the new chapter!

**WHEN DREAMS COME TRUE**

Serenity found herself walking towards the dungeons first thing in the morning. Again. Besides the difficulty of the situation she found herself smiling at that fact; she always seemed to run to the dungeons didn't she? She turned around the corners swiftly now that her mind was set; she knew she couldn't keep this going on any longer. As much as she wished to hurt neither Severus nor Draco she had to end this for both their sakes.

So she kept pushing forward as she went deeper and deeper in the dungeons, her feet moving almost on their own, finding their way to Severus's office. She had made up her mind to talk to him first before she had even managed to realize what her heart dictated her to do. And now that she knew… well, her opinion hadn't changed.

Her eyes felt moist as she stood in front of his door. For a fleeting moment she wondered if there could be a different way out of this. She could just turn away and run and never stop. She could leave the country and enroll in Bauxbatons for her last year and then find a job overseas and never look back.

She sighed again. No, she really couldn't do that. She was about to rip her heart out today and stomp on the heart of a great man in the process. And there was no way around it. Not really. The Thinking Cap had once said she possessed one of the greatest minds it had ever seen. Then why couldn't she find a better solution? For all that was worth, she was ready to exchange all her Ravenclaw cleverness and all her cunning wit, almost a Slytherin trait as Draco had once told her, for the brave heart of a Gryffindor.

'There really is no backing up now.' She repeated to herself. And finding that Gryffindor courage that did lay inside her as hard as she denied it, she steeled herself and knocked on Severus's door. He opened the door all too soon for her taste looking more than startled as his eyes took in her form; she couldn't wrong him on that one. She would have been startled too.

"Serenity what are you doing here?" he asked looking up and down the corridor to make sure it was empty, his years as a spy kicking in. The corridor was empty, Serenity had checked herself.

"Can I come in?" She asked allowing herself to look at his eyes. Severus was startled; she sounded tired, so much tired and mature. Her eyes held pain and even that hurt him too, his own pain was set aside as his heart clenched in horror from the other emotion her gaze held; she had decided, he could tell. She had decided and had come to tell him. Because she was expecting an answer and for no other reason than that, he motioned for her to come in, feeling like a man in court, ready to hear the verdict.

"Of course, please come in." He murmured and ushered her through the door. She sighed again and moved inside. He thought she almost looked ethereal in her grief -because Severus could feel, practically taste she was grieving- as her feet barely seemed to touch the floor, making her look like she glided rather than walked towards Severus's desk. She turned around to face him and her eyes held otherworldly sorrow, making him realize he was right at his estimation. Right at that moment she was ethereal, like a sprite, a forest nymph of the old, trapped in this world, chained and forced to shed her soul out for the world to see.

"I need to talk to you Severus." She said and he gulped, noticing she hadn't sat down yet. So she decided to offer her a seat which she gracefully denied. "I'd rather stand thank you." She affirmed and offered him a soft smile that never reached her haunted eyes. "I promise this won't take long."

"You have decided haven't you?" Severus asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes." She stated softly, smiling once more. "But you already knew that didn't you?" Severus didn't even nod at her, but she was sure. "Of course you did." She continued, mostly talking to herself. "You know me too well, don't you?"

"Serenity I…" Severus began only to have her raise her hand to interrupt him.

"I really have to say this; please don't make it harder on me." She softly pleaded him with her eyes as well as her heart and he couldn't deny anything to her anymore. So, he simply nodded and let her tell him what she had come to say, whether it was for the better or worse.

"Go on." He urged her and leaned backwards to the wall seeking comfort and trying to fight off his dizziness.

"Yesterday, before I left you, you asked me a question; you asked how I felt. I said I harbored many feelings but I was most and above all confused. I told you I hadn't decided and I was telling you the truth. I had no clue as what to do." She closed her eyes and tilted her face upwards while she kept talking; Severus had to resist the impulse to kiss her there and then. An impulse very strong as he was he was afraid this would be the last chance he would ever get in doing so. Still, for her sake he just stood back and listened to her.

"And I told you that I love you. I meant that too." Her eyes were still closed so she couldn't see the small smile that had found its way on Severus's face, but her declaration of love had thus affected him nonetheless. "So, I left your room more confused than I was when I came in. When I returned to my quarters I found a letter on my bed. It was from Draco." Severus could have sworn his heart stopped as he heard her speak his name. She had betrayed no emotion when she pronounced it and her always expressive eyes where still held shut, but her hands had clenched into fists. That couldn't be a good sign. And still, even if he died to take her pain away, Severus didn't speak nor moved.

"In that letter" she continued "he told me how much he loved me, what I meant to him and how I had changed him to the man he was now. I felt like dirt, like the lowliest form a human being could take, but he wrote he loved me. He practically claimed he was mine for the taking." Her eyes snapped open and now burned with a flame that would put the damned inferno in Hell to shame. "He wrote he knew something was troubling me and he was afraid he had caused it. Merlin, Severus! He _apologized_!" Her voice cracked as she spoke the last words and Severus found himself unable to help her in her inner torture. The fire in her eyes was still holding him as a prisoner and even if he had found the will to move, what would he say to make everything better? What could he say? So Severus didn't speak nor moved.

"Of all things he could do he apologized! Can you realize how that made me feel? I broke down Severus." Her shoulders started to shake and tears flowed from her eyes. She was breaking up again in front of him and he wanted to comfort her; he truly did. But, as he saw her weep for Draco's pain in front of him, he wondered if she would welcome his touch. And once again, as much as he wished he could, Severus didn't speak nor moved.

"I broke down and thought of everything he and I had together, the pain, the happiness, the love, everything. I thought of all the things we can still have, the things we will have together if I chose to. And I hated myself. Because I could see he was telling the truth; he has grown up and become a man, a great man. A loving man. A brave man. And he has undisputedly found a way to my heart. And he's going to be kept safe in there forever Severus, I can't change that. I'm far too gone for it to change." Everything felt numb for Severus. His heart was failing him it seemed, as he could hear it beating louder and louder every second. It should break any moment now. She was telling him she was choosing Draco. She was right when she said he knew her too well; she was going to choose Draco. And with anguish pinning him to the ground like led, Severus didn't speak nor moved. He couldn't.

"Oh, I hated myself Severus!" She continued and her voice pierced his pain clouded mind. "He loves me and I love him and I'm going to break his heart!" Serenity said and placed a hand over her mouth to stop her sobs, wanting to say everything she had to say before breaking down completely. Severus stared at her in shock; break Draco's heart? How? Was she going to tell him what had happened between them? Or did she imply… could he even dare hope? And out of shock, Severus didn't speak nor moved.

"Yes!" She continued. "I am going to break his heart, I already have! Because, as much as I love him, and I do love him, I do care for him, what I feel for you is… it's just… I can't even describe it!" She rambled leaving Severus more and more shocked every second that went by. "I have loved you in so many different ways over the years, I can't even remember the exact moment I fell in love with you! Because I loved you before that. And I know that I don't make any sense and that I'm an awful person and that you should want nothing to do with me and that you're the single most amazing man I've ever met, but Severus I love you. More than everything I love you and I can't hide from my feelings anymore. You were a dream that came true and then you were so much more than a dream; you were real. You are real" Severus heart was beating even faster as he fleetingly wandered if he had gone crazy. Would his mind simply make her words up just to spare him the heartbreak? And in such a confused stated, Severus didn't speak nor moved.

"I sent him a letter this morning." She said her voice barely a whisper now. "I told him he should meet me in Hogsmeade today because I had something important to tell him. Whatever your decision may be Severus I'm leaving him. He's far too great for me to lead him on. I'm going to tell him I love you and try to explain everything to him; I hope he'll understand." And she closed her eyes again, still unable to hold back the tears. And finally Severus accepted this was for real; she had chosen him. She really had! Breaking out of his stupor, Severus moved. He approached her and tenderly wrapped her in his embrace, letting a few tears of joy flow from his eyes as she held onto him for dear life. And Severus spoke;

"Serenity I… I'm so… Merlin, are you sure you want this? Are you sure you want _me_?" She shifted her head to look him in the eyes and he saw the determination was still there. The pain was still there too.

"Yes, Severus. I love you and I can't find another way to do this. I love you and I want you. I love you." And Severus kissed her and found her kissing him back with passion.

"And I love you." He assured her after an eternity of kisses. Her eyes when she looked at him were no longer haunted and his heart doubled with happiness.

"You love me?" She asked disbelievingly.

"I do. Try to change my mind and see what'll happen!" He mock threatened her, showing that carefree side of him that was always there, waiting to be awakened. She let out something that resembled a cry and laughter at the same time and leaned in for another kiss.

"Thank you Severus." She replied solemnly as he held her tighter.

"No, thank you Serenity; for everything." The stood like that together for some time before Severus spoke again. "And I want to come with you when you meet Draco; you'll never have to be alone anymore." Serenity's head snapped up to meet his loving gaze as her own eyes turned hopeful.

"Will you do that for me?" She asked disbelievingly.

"You'd do it for me." He simply answered and she nodded, giving him the first real smile he had seen from her the whole morning. "I meant in Serenity; you'll never be alone. I love you."

"And you want be alone either. Never again. I love you too in case you hadn't noticed." And they held onto each other ready to face what was to come, even if it was going to be hard, especially in the beginning. Ready to never be alone again. Forever.


	9. All I Want

**Disclaimer; **I don't own Harry Potter. Duh.

**A.N.: **Okay that took a while. More than that actually but hey… Real life seems to sabotage all my tries at writing. So, without further ado, I give you the promised and much awaited alternate ending of the story. Enjoy!

**ALL I WANT**

Serenity found herself walking towards the dungeons first thing in the morning. Again. Besides the difficulty of the situation she found herself smiling at that fact; she always seemed to run to the dungeons didn't she? She turned around the corners swiftly now that her mind was set; she knew she couldn't keep this going on any longer. As much as she wished to hurt neither Severus nor Draco she had to end this for both their sakes.

So she kept pushing forward as she went deeper and deeper in the dungeons, her feet moving almost on their own, finding their way to Severus's office. She had made up her mind to talk to him first before she had even managed to realize what her heart dictated her to do. And now that she knew… well, her opinion hadn't changed.

Her eyes felt moist as she stood in front of his door. For a fleeting moment she wondered if there could be a different way out of this. She could just turn away and run and never stop. She could leave the country and enroll in Bauxbatons for her last year and then find a job overseas and never look back.

She sighed again. No, she really couldn't do that. She was about to rip her heart out today and stomp on the heart of a great man in the process. And there was no way around it. Not really. The Thinking Cap had once said she possessed one of the greatest minds it had ever seen. Then why couldn't she find a better solution? For all that was worth, she was ready to exchange all her Ravenclaw cleverness and all her cunning wit, almost a Slytherin trait as Draco had once told her, for the brave heart of a Gryffindor.

'There really is no backing up now.' She repeated to herself. And finding that Gryffindor courage that did lay inside her as hard as she denied it, she steeled herself and knocked on Severus's door. He opened the door all too soon for her taste looking more than startled as his eyes took in her form; she couldn't wrong him on that one. She would have been startled too.

"Serenity what are you doing here?" he asked looking up and down the corridor to make sure it was empty, his years as a spy kicking in. The corridor was empty, Serenity had checked herself.

"Can I come in?" She asked allowing herself to look at his eyes. Severus was startled; she sounded tired, so much tired and mature. Her eyes held pain and even if that hurt him too, his own pain was set aside as his heart clenched in horror from the other emotion her gaze held; she had decided, he could tell. She had decided and had come to tell him. Because she was expecting an answer and for no other reason than that, he motioned for her to come in, feeling like a man in court, ready to hear the verdict.

"Of course, please come in." He murmured and ushered her through the door. She sighed again and moved inside. He thought she almost looked ethereal in her grief -because Severus could feel, practically taste she was grieving- as her feet barely seemed to touch the floor, making her look like she glided rather than walked towards Severus's desk. She turned around to face him and her eyes held otherworldly sorrow, making him realize he was right at his estimation. Right at that moment she was ethereal, like a sprite, a forest nymph of the old, trapped in this world, chained and forced to shed her soul out for the world to see.

"I need to talk to you Severus." She said and he gulped, noticing she hadn't sat down yet. So she decided to offer her a seat which she gracefully denied. "I'd rather stand thank you." She affirmed and offered him a soft smile that never reached her haunted eyes. "I promise this won't take long."

"You have decided haven't you?" Severus asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, I have." She said and sighed, wondering if she was so easy to tell. Then again, he could always read her so well. "You can always tell how I'm feeling can't you?" She asked not really waiting for an answer.

"Serenity I…" Severus began only to have her raise her hand to interrupt him.

"I really have to say this; please don't make it harder on me." She asked hoping she would comply. He nodded and she breathed in hard steeling herself for what was going to happen.

"Yesterday when I left you, I was still at loss; I strived to reach a conclusion, strived to put my thoughts into order, strived to clear my head. Only to realize that my head was just fine; my heart was the one that was suffering." Severus nodded, never interrupting her. He felt she had to let everything out and marveled to the transformation he was witnessing. The Serenity he was facing was so much different from the one he had seen yesterday. That woman in front of him, whether she was human or a spirit, was a woman who knew what she wanted; broken but whole, ready to give her life to the man she loved.

"I left you and returned to my room still undecided only to be met by a surprise." She said, her eyes losing the sparkle of life with every word she uttered. "I came back and there it was on my bed…" Her vitality that Severus loved so much was flowing out of her eyes, vanishing into the air. "…a single red rose…" Her eyes were dying "…and a letter…" her soul was leaving her and Severus could almost feel her falling downwards, disappearing, losing herself in a place of torture, a place of nothingness inside her head. His heart shivered and broke little by little as he remembered seeing such a look before; a long time ago, right after the first war, in a visit to Azkaban, witnessing some Death Eaters receiving the Dementors' kiss. "…a letter from Draco." Serenity concluded, looking completely empty as she spoke in a monotonous voice.

"He knows me so well. He knew I had lied to him yesterday. He said it was all right; I was entitled to my secrets. He was afraid something he had done hurt me. He _apologized_ Severus." She said and tears spilled from her emotionless eyes; they just gathered and spilled over as she never blinked to get rid of them. "He said he loves me, no matter what he loves me. He just wants me to be happy, he said." And her soul was alight. Not with the glow Severus had seen in the past, no; she was burning this time. Burning and hurting and he found himself hopeless and unable to help her. And it hurt.

"What I did to him was unforgivable; I should burn in hell for it and I would gladly do so if it spared him, if it spared anyone the heartbreak I caused; the heartbreak I will cause again." She looked at him and he felt the fire that was consuming her flow from her eyes and gripping him tight, slowly reducing him into ashes.

"And here I am now, stupid as ever, trying to clear things up. Severus I love you." She still loved him, he realized and his heart leaped. "I've loved you for so long, I can't even remember when I realized what I felt for you was more than just respect. It might have even been before that stupid party two years ago; I honestly can't tell. When everyone thought you were a murderer I supported you for I knew you couldn't have been one. I've watched when you were too busy watching everybody else and I dare say I know you somehow better than most do; yes, you couldn't be a murderer." Severus was startled; she was watching him? All this time she did?

"And two days ago, when we came together it was like a dream." She spoke and she sounded just like that; a visage from a dream; distant, trembling. "We finally were a 'we' I could taste it, I could feel it everywhere. And I felt you, and I saw the future he could have together and it felt like heaven. You were a dream that came true." Her voice was failing her and her heart was breaking; she could feel all the emotions she had pent up trying to break out. And she could no longer stop them.

"And yesterday you said I had healed you. You said you were now ready to give yourself to me. You said that, all the time not knowing you had healed me too. I was afraid and lost in the past; I was holding onto the past even if my life was going forward, not wanting to let go of what could be, not wanting to lose hope. You freed me from that. No more would have beens, no more what ifs." She said her heart clenching. Severus stood and watched her unable to speak; his estimation was right wasn't it? She was whole, he could tell. Yet was it better for her to be whole in Hell than half lost in a dream?

"And now you're really healed and Severus… Severus I love you but you don't need me." She said making Severus snap;

"What do you mean I don't need you?" He asked his voice husky from the tears he was holding back. "I love you."

"And I love you too. And I know I'm hurting you; but Severus, I won't break you. I'm not the only one that has been freed from the past. You have too; you never realized but you told me yourself. You were dying Severus." She said and paled, as if the memory was physically hurting her. And as far as she was concerned she was hurting. She practically whished that damned snake the Dark Lord had used against Severus was there to attack her. "You were dying and it wasn't your past you thought of; it was a glimpse of the future. A possibility, something that could happen or something that wouldn't. You trusted the future Severus and it saved you. Now it's time I did the same." That wasn't how she had planned to tell him. But as she spoke she realized everything she had told him was true. And as he looked at him he saw his pain, and hurt; but she saw he was seeing the truth of her words.

"But I do love you." He said somehow resigned. "And even if you say I don't need you, I know I want you. And I promised myself to fight for you; to fight for my love this time." Tears were now threatening to fall from his eyes too as he looked at her; she shook her head negatively.

"I'm not telling you not to fight; fight! For all that is worth, get out there and live! You're one of the most amazing people I've met. You're a hero Severus and you have seen so many things that you shouldn't have in such a young age. And you are young Severus." She said when he tried to protest. "And it's time you start living. As for me…" She said a ghost of a smile creeping on her face "…I have found mine. And if he'll have me… well, we'll have to see about that. I sent him a letter this morning and I'll meet him in Hogsmeade so we can talk. I'll try to explain to him and I hope he won't hate me." She said and closed her eyes, praying to whoever was listening that she hadn't messed everything up. Suddenly, she felt Severus's hands around her. Surprised she opened her eyes to look at him. And really he was holding her.

"You really do love him, don't you?" He asked. Serenity was at loss. She didn't want to talk to Severus about what she felt for Draco. She didn't want to hurt him more than it was necessary. And there he was, asking her himself, holding her in his arms, comforting her. "No need to speak, I know you do." He pulled back to look at her. "If you love him go to him. And if he loves you he'll understand." She looked at him in disbelief and he smiled sadly at her. 'What about you?' her eyes asked. "I'll hurt. I am hurting. But you might just be right. I might have to fight for my future. But Serenity, I do love you. And if he hurts you, I'll be here; remember, always here." He traced her face softly and she sighed.

"No, you won't be here." She said and he tried to protest. "You shouldn't have to. And because I do know you Severus, eventually you won't be. And that's great." Severus couldn't believe her, not yet. Still he found himself hoping. Maybe she was right after all.

"Go to him Serenity. And be happy. You deserve to be. And I want you to." He said and bent down to kiss her goodbye. It was a chaste kiss on the lips, but it spoke volumes. It was a goodbye and a hello, a closure and a beginning.

"I don't know if I deserve it, but you do; have a great life Severus. I want you to." He smiled at her and left her embrace as she moved towards the door.

"That's not a goodbye. I'm expecting you in class. And you still have to finish accounting those potions." She half laughed and touched the door.

"I love you Severus." She said and looked at his eyes once more. Her eyes were still sad but alive once more.

"I love you too Serenity. And so does Draco. It'll turn out alright, you'll see." And with a last smile and a shared look, Serenity opened the door and left, leaving him to think what he had heard. Leaving him to live.

Serenity ran as fast as she could towards Hogwarts's gates, using for the first time her privilege as a Head Girl to leave the school for Hogsmeade every weekend. She flew through the gates of the school, ran through streets turning and ignoring the looks she was given, heading towards the Three Broomsticks where she was supposed to meet Draco. She loved him, she really did and she wanted to scream it from the rooftops. When she made the final turn towards the bar he saw him standing there, tall and lean, his hair shimmering gold in the sunlight. She called him, his name spoken reverently, just like a prayer. He turned around just before she launched herself in his arms.

And she held him and hang on. And she felt the world was right again. Maybe it was.

"Hey there love." He said as he tried to look at her eyes, a difficult feat as she had buried her head in his chest. "Are you okay? Your letter…" He asked and noticed the tears in her eyes. "Serenity, love talk to me, what happened?"

"Could we walk a little? I want to talk to you. Privately." Serenity suddenly realized that the crowded bar might not be the right place for the conversation that would follow. Draco was feeling more and more agitated every moment, but seeing her tears he couldn't do anything but comply. He would always do what her eyes commanded, he couldn't help it.

"Lead the way love." He said and held her hand as they moved. They walked through Hogsmeade in silence until they reached the Shrieking Hut. They stood there, watching the red leaves fall as autumn slowly took its toll upon the forests of Scotland.

"I love Severus." Draco thought he had heard wrong. He turned around to face her, only to find her watching the falling leaves, as if she was grieving for their fall. A wood nymph watching the death of her forest, he thought.

"What did you say love?" He asked hoping he had imagined what she had said. She turned to face him and her eyes were solemn.

"I love Severus." She repeated. And his world slipped away. Severus? As in Professor Severus Snape?

"But I thought… I hoped…" He whispered unable to continue. What could he say? What good could a few words do when everything fell apart?

"I always loved him, since I was a little girl. And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with him too. On Friday night he…" She stopped to gather her thoughts. "…He said he loved me too." Draco's mind was frozen; he didn't know what to think and even if he did, his brain wouldn't cooperate. And his heart was gone. Reduced to dust and gone on the soft September wind.

"He said he loved me and that he wanted to be with me. It was a dream come true; I told him I loved him too." The colors faded to grey around him. The world stopped turning. He should be dead. "I met him again today. Just this morning; he said he wanted to spend his life with me." She was crying again and she hated it. She hated herself for being weak and most of all for breaking his heart.

"And do you want to stay with him?" Draco asked. He was close to tears himself but he wouldn't let her see it. She was in pain he could see. And he had sworn to make her laugh. "Serenity, I love you; I would do anything for you. Fight and die, go to the depths of Hell and back if you asked me so. And I would live for you; I do live for you." He gently touched her face and tilted it upwards so she would look straight in his eyes. "But if it's Professor Snape, if it's Severus you want, I'll step back. I just want you to be happy."

"I don't deserve your love. I don't deserve either of you. But I want your love Draco." He just stood and looked at her, not daring to hope. Hadn't she just said she loved Severus?

"If you say that just because you feel sorry for me, please, I beg of you…"

"No!" She cried and took his hands in hers, bringing them close to her heart, looking at him pleadingly. "Don't beg for anything! And never think I feel sorry for you Draco. How could I? Severus was a dream; a piece of my life that was missing, a piece of my past. I loved him before I met you and he will always have a special place in my heart but…" She stopped and looked at the falling leaves again, trying to find the words, trying to make him see…

"But?" Draco asked softly waiting for her to speak.

"But he's not you Draco. When I met you I was a child; I still didn't know anything for the darkness the world holds, for the pain hidden in the hearts of seemingly happy people. And I never knew what it truly feels to be in love. To love someone so passionately and completely you would go to extremes to make them happy. And I didn't know myself." He looked back in his eyes and she was glowing again. Just like she did the first time she had told him she loved him. "You let me look into your heart Draco and I saw a great man, trying to make a difference. And I saw love and hope and pain. And I saw myself. I found myself in you and now I can't let you go. Because you might not need me, you might hate me after what I said to you. But I need you Draco. I need you like the oxygen I breathe. I love you. No matter how much I care about Severus, I will always love you more. It took me his confession to find out, but I did. Sorry I was so late. I love you." She concluded and lowered her eyes waiting for his response. The moments passed and all she heard was the wind, whooshing through the trees of the forest.

"When I was on my third year," Draco started "just before Spring holidays, I had come to this place with Crabbe and Goile. We ran into Potter and his friends and I made a complete fool of myself." Serenity looked at him surprised, his words nothing close to what she had expected. Draco realized he was confusing her and smiled. That surprised her even more. "It's a part of my past Serenity. I was a jerk back then, but it's a part of my past and a part of the road that lead to who I am today. I was a jerk but I won't take it back, because that road, dreadful as it was, was the road that lead me to you. I love you Serenity." He said and the colors were alive again. The bright red leaves, the brown branches of the trees, her dark brown hair, her doe like eyes, her wine colored lips.

"You do?" She asked, afraid to trust her ears and eyes. But she did trust his eyes; grey and bright and full of love. For her. "You don't hate me?" He laughed out loud at her stance.

"Serenity, you didn't start your life the day you met me. You were there before I came along; I was just too stupid to notice you sooner." He softly caressed her cheek as his smile grew. "I don't care what happened with Severus. As long as you love me and want to be with me I'm yours. So, do you really want to stay with me?" He looked in her eyes for an answer but found it on her lips instead. They kissed among the falling leaves for a moment, an hour, a lifetime. And when they came apart it still didn't feel enough.

"Yes Draco, yes my love; I love you and if you take me… If you take me, I'm yours." Draco smiled and scooped her up, twirling her around as the both laughed, like they had no care in the world.

"Then you're mine. Forever." He stated cockishly holding her closer.

"Forever Draco?" She asked with hope.

"What can I say? I'm persistent."

"And addictive." She added playfully, even if she spoke the truth.

"Look who's talking." He said and kissed her again, signaling the start of their forever.


End file.
